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blainesebastian · 11 months ago

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something real

words: 13,045 ship: austin butler x female reader rating: SFW except for one explicit scene summary: i took inspo from a request about fake!dating for a wedding and from another film with a similar premise. what else do you do when your ex is getting married? hire a fake date notes: feel free to visit my austin masterlist warnings: none, but check the rating. tag list: @austinbutlermischief, @killerqueenfan, @stylespresleyhearted,

“You’re losing it.”

A short laugh escapes your lips because god, maybe you are. This all started out easily enough—you needed a date for your ex’s wedding. Right, the fact that you were even invited kind of drives you crazy. It’s not like you didn’t have a good relationship with Todd, you did? But it also doesn’t change the fact how things ended—he ‘meant’ to break things off with you but started seeing someone at the same time. Claire. The girl he’s marrying. But you’re not about to go through life with grudges and anger when you can just let things go.

Which is why you’ve entertained this wedding invitation in the first place?

But to go alone? That’s a fate worse than death.

Which, ironically, is exactly what your friend, Jill, is telling you you’re going to be with this idea you’ve come up with.

“It’s all perfectly safe.” You mutter, sliding onto a bar stool and turning to look at her. You’re wearing a light blue dress, pair of booties, and jean jacket. Just casual enough but also hinting you’ve got a figure to show off if you really wanted to.

She scoffs, “Yeah, that’s what everyone says before they end up on 60 Minutes.”

You can’t help but smile, tugging the file out of your course before setting it on the bar top. “Do you want me to explain it again?”

Jill puts her hands on her hips—as if that will somehow make her comfortable with all of this, but she’s not protesting either. So you open up the file and—

“So my neighbor’s used this service before to go to her high school reunion, you know, so she didn’t end up there alone. She went onto their online platform, filled out a survey and bam, she was matched with someone to go.”

Jill narrows her eyes, “For twenty thousand dollars.”

“Well it’s not charity,” You throw back, “I’ve done the research, there’s a ton of reviews—all positive. It’s not like it’s about sex or anything, it’s just…companionship for one event.”

Jill looks at the file, crinkling her nose, “There’s so many other ways you could have done this—Rick, the guy in 6B? He’s always thought you were cute.”

You laugh a little, “If I go out with Rick, there is a good chance I’ll end up missing some limbs—dude is creepy, Jill.”

Her friend rolls her eyes but it’s fond, opening up the file and pointing to a blank spot where this guy’s photo should be, “Okay, but you don’t even get to know what he looks like?”

“I think it was my Wi-Fi,” You state honestly, “Some of the images weren’t loading. But that’s why you’re here,” You grin, “Safety measures. So—” You gently push on one of her hips, “Go find a table, order a drink while I wait for Austin.”

“That’s the gigolo’s name?”

“Wedding date,” You correct, shooing her away until she heads to a table.

Taking a breath, you look at the reflective surface of the bar mirror in front of you, mentally praying that this somehow not a huge mistake and order a drink.

Chewing on the drunken cherry in your Manhattan, you glance down the bar as you see someone handsome talking to a small group of women. You wonder if that’s Austin, looking for you—he’s about ten minutes late. Your stomach clenches anxiously, knowing that maybe Jill was right and this is utterly ridiculous. But…you got invited to the wedding late (either it was a last-minute thought or it got lost in the mail) but there was no way you could organically find someone to ask.

Sure, you could have brought Jill or some other friend but…deep down? You know this is about making Todd feel utterly stupid for cheating on you, for leaving you for someone else. You don’t want him back, of course, but that feeling of satisfaction? That look on his face when he sees you with someone else? You want it.

You can’t not go and you can’t find someone random in your life already to go with…so when your neighbor mentioned this quick fix? How could you not look into it? You’ve got a ton of money saved from over the years, not to mention a small investment your grandfather put in your name. What’s the harm in looking into this, right?

“Y/N?”

Turning on the bar stool, you nearly swallow your own tongue as you’re met face to face with who you assume is Austin. And joke’s on you because he’s ten times more beautiful than the other guy at the bar you saw talking to those women. He’s tall, lean, in a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket. Easily handsome, like…James Dean or Elvis Presley. Doesn’t have to try very hard.

And suddenly something hysterical crawls up your throat as he takes a seat next to you, introduces himself as Austin, and apologizes for being late because of traffic because—

“I’m sorry—” You interrupt, shaking your head, “This uh, this isn’t going to work.”

His eyebrows draw together in confusion, his mouth opening and closing, “Excuse me?”

“You’re,” You laugh lightly, cheeks heating up. There’s this sickly sensation gripping your stomach, telling you to run, “No one is going to believe that we’re dating.”

And maybe that’s something oddly pathetic you shouldn’t have uttered outloud because what’s even worse, Austin seems to grip what you’re saying and his features soften. You do not want pity or sympathy, you’re just…stating a fact.

Austin takes in a soft breath and looks towards the bartender, ordering himself a beer, confusing you a little because you expected him to just…take off. There’s no money involved at this point, it’s a clean break. This meeting is just to discuss details.

“I think you’re underestimating yourself,” He states gently, eyes sweeping over your form. And god, he’s good, isn’t he? You suppose this is his job, making women feel good. Confident. Even though it’s all a lie.

Letting out a breath as his drink is set down on the bar, you figure there’s no harm in…talking with him, right? He came all this way; you can at least wait until he finishes his beer to turn him down. You’ll just go to this damn wedding alone—it’s really not that big of a deal, right?

Austin takes off his leather jacket, hanging it up on a hook underneath the bar and he smells amazing—some sort of cologne that’s fresh and almost citrusy. You run a hand through your hair and order another Manhattan.

“So your request said a wedding?”

“My ex,” You clarify, “And I don’t want him back, or anything, I just want him to feel like an idiot.”

Austin smiles a little, humming— “Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. I’m assumin’ he already is one.”

A small laugh stutters forward in your chest because yes, he is. Your shoulders start to relax just a little because maybe Austin gets it. By not going or going alone you…you don’t want Todd to think that he’s somehow gotten one over you, that you’re lonely or broken ever since you’ve separated.

“Have you…done weddings before?”

He shifts a little on the barstool so that he’s facing you a little easier, “I’ve done weddings the most,” He admits, “Two high school reunions, one funeral.”

You raise your eyebrows, setting your drink down on the bar. “A funeral?”

Austin shrugs lightly, “Some women just want a hand to hold on their hardest day, a shoulder to cry on. Someone to talk to.” He licks his lips, taking a sip of his beer, “I’m not one to judge.”

You straighten your shoulders and…you suppose you’re really not in a position to do that either, given you’re here to hire Austin so you feel less alone and pathetic at a wedding. You take a long look at him for a moment, —curious. He doesn’t want to be doing anything else?

“Can I ask—why are you doing this?” Your fingers trace shapes into the condensation on your glass. “This whole fake-date program?”

Austin clears his throat, “You can ask me whatever you want,” He starts and that within itself seems like a dangerous proposition. “I work at this café near here but uh, it doesn’t exactly bring a lot of money in. I want to be an actor, like…a serious one, the money I get from these dates I’m savin’ up to go to L.A.”

And he essentially gets to pretend to be someone he’s not. Like an endless list of auditions.

There are other things you want to ask, other questions stuck in your throat about doing weddings. Why weddings? The whole concept seems like a bad idea—a high school reunion, a holiday party, even a funeral makes more sense, doesn’t it?

Those aren’t emotionally connected events, there’s no…opportunities to fall into something deeper than what the contract of attachment allows. But weddings? It’s about love and finding your person and…going to one with someone else feels like such a slippery slope.

Or maybe it doesn’t because Austin is a professional.

“So if I…if we do this, what does it entail, exactly?” You take another sip of your drink, as if you need the liquid courage for his response.

A small smile graces his handsome face again, “Don’t overthink it. It’s whatever you want, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

You feel like there’s this heat uncoiling in your belly even though he’s not suggesting anything. Somehow, it’s in the ocean blue of his eyes—a depth there. You clear your throat, “You mean uh—if I require a dance partner? Because I love to dance at weddings…usually badly.”

Austin laughs warmly but shakes his head. “I meant if I was goin’ as your date or a boyfriend.”

And oh, of course, you hadn’t even thought about it but of course Austin would want a more specific role to sink his teeth into and your mind spins about what you want to do. It’s just one night, one silly wedding, there’s no long con here. It’s not like Todd will even care who you show up with, right? You’re the one who wants to feel less lonely—

And yet—

“You can think about it, if you need to—”

“Boyfriend.” You say, cutting him off. Heat returns to your cheeks…mise well go big or go home, right? If you’re going to do this? This has got to be a bad idea, right?

“Okay,” Austin smiles, “Good.”

So it’s settled that he’ll meet you at your place beforehand, you’ll iron out details of your relationship in case anyone asks and then you’ll go to the wedding together.

Austin stands and he tosses some cash on the bar counter (enough to cover your drink as well) and he hovers for a moment, tugging on his leather jacket. “My number’s in the file, in case you need it.”

Then there’s a moment where Austin watches you, fixing the lapels of his jacket. His one hand then rests on the bar, taking a step closer to you, and the way that you’re seated, your legs open just slightly to accommodate his body in your space.

“Don’t hit me, alright?” He smiles a little, leaning down, and honestly you’re the one that feels like you’re getting sucker punched in the stomach. Air right out of your lungs. “It was nice meeting you.”

You swallow, your mouth suddenly dry as your eyes flutter to his lips, “Yeah, you too.”

There’s more than enough time for you to pull away, but you don’t, so he kisses you.

It’s nothing obscene, but slow and gentle. Warm. Just enough to make your heart pound against your ribcage, electricity singing in your veins. You suppose it’s something you should get used to if Austin is going to pass as your boyfriend.

You raise your eyebrows a little as he pulls away, hot under the collar of your jean jacket.

“Figure we’d just get that out of the way so you could concentrate.” He teases and god, your mind is spinning. You kinda hate that he’s made you feel like this so easily, like somehow it’s second nature.

“What, that doesn’t cost extra?” You manage to throw out there, finding your voice.

Austin grins, another soft laugh rumbling in his chest. “I’ll see you soon.”

You let out a slow breath, running a hand over your hair as you watch him walk out of the bar before downing the rest of your drink.

“So that’s your date, huh?” Jill asks as she comes up behind you—honestly her voice kinda sounds like cotton in your ears. “Todd is gonna swallow his own tongue.”

And you can’t help but grin.

You meet one more time before the wedding, just…something to solidify that you do, in fact, know what you’re doing. But also to get a bit more comfortable around Austin and the fact that he’s going to be your boyfriend. You let out a slow breath, aggravated by how crazy that sounds. Maybe Jill’s right, maybe this is a bad idea (despite how handsome and charming Austin is).

He’s picked you up to go somewhere but won’t tell you where. And when the engine turns off, you undo your seatbelt and look out the windshield, “A custard house?”

“Was hopin’ you could go for somethin’ sweet,” Austin smiles a little, “They make these waffle custard sandwiches that’ll change your life.”

You hum lightly and start to get out of the car, a little confused because…well, you’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this. “We’re here for ice cream sandwiches?”

Austin scrunches his nose in mock offense at her flippant description, “No, we’re here for waffle custard. You need to work on listenin’, come on.” He gets out of the car too and locks the doors.

You know you’re about to paying Austin a decent amount of money to be your stand-in date, your fake boyfriend, dragging him to this wedding for god knows what reasons make sense in your head but…you suppose you didn’t count on him being like this. A tiny bit thoughtful, sweet, funny even.

Or maybe he’s already a decent actor.

You follow him to the counter, your eyes trailing over at least thirty different custard flavors—not only that, but there’s twice as many toppings. How are you supposed to choose?

“You know what you want already?” You ask as Austin rolls up the sleeves of his jean jacket a little.

“I always know what I want.” He leans on the counter, turning towards the woman at the register to order French vanilla—but stops when you make a noise. He looks at you over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Somethin’ you wanna share?”

You purse your lips and rocks back onto your heels, shaking your head, “No I just…vanilla, really? You don’t seem like the type.” She teases.

Austin smirks, straightening his back. “Oh, huh.” He motions to the large display menu. “Put your money where your mouth is, baby. What should I order?”

You let the pet name slide (and it does, like heated molasses right down in your veins), which is probably a dangerous slippery slope, but you’re too busy trying to take in a custard selection at the moment to care. You chew on your lower lip, slipping through the flavors written in chalk on the board and decides to go with your favorite pairing—

“He’ll have chocolate and strawberry custard in that waffle sandwich thing with…” You hum, “Caramel sauce and chocolate sprinkles.” You smile, clearly happy with your selection before ordering the same for yourself…except you also get chocolate sauce and whipped cream.

Because why the hell not?

“You’re gonna have that all over you before the night is over.” Austin motions to the dripping mess in your hands, carefully shelled between fresh waffles wrapped up in foil.

You slide yourself onto the hood of Austin’s car, almost sliding back down but managing to lean against the windshield before losing your custard sandwich.

“Challenge accepted.”

Austin smiles a little, sitting down next to you, looking far too handsome sprawled out on his car.

You realize that everything between you both is so dangerous, wrapped in gentle dynamite, the softest breath or touch capable of explosion. But it’s also tantalizing in a way that excites you—Austin is different, gentle but rough with the walls he keeps up.

Everything about this is a lie –circles in your head, over and over, trying to remind you not to take anything too seriously. And yet? You bury it deep with a bite of your custard sandwich. You moan softly and lick chocolate off your lips because Jesus, this is incredible.

Austin smirks, licking custard between the waffle before he takes a bite of his own. “Told you it was worth the stop.”

“I’m not going to admit you somehow know all just because you have decent taste in custard.” You smile and takes another bite of your waffle sandwich, leaning back to watch cars drive by.

“Give it time.” Austin glances over and you can feel his gaze, always like a magnet tracing the curves of your body. You want to tell him that you enjoy when he looks at you like that, to be felt and seen all at the same time, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

You wonder if he looks at every woman who’s ever paid him like that.

You’re not sure you want to know.

You turn and meet his gaze, holding it for a moment before a small smile graces your lips. “Do you really work at a café?”

He nods, leaning further up against the windshield. “It’s called Mug Half Full; been there about three years.” He licks his lips, pulling a napkin from his pants pocket and wiping his chin where he feels caramel sticking. “What do you do? You didn’t mention it in your email.”

You swallow down a bought of self-loathing at the question and decide to take another bite of your sandwich; sweet hiding sour. “I uh, I’m kinda in-between jobs at the moment.” You know Austin has to be able to see through that terrible excuse of an answer. “I’m currently getting an online degree in education.”

Austin finishes his custard waffle, which is admirable because yours is two seconds away from becoming soup in your hands. You lick at the sides as he crumples up a napkin and puts his trash in a can nearby so it’s not in either of your way.

“What do you want to do?”

The question shouldn’t offend you as much as it does, the want and need to defend yourself raising your hackles a bit. You bite down on reacting too sorely; he’s just asking a question—and you realize you haven’t given him a reason not to ask something like that. Your bland response is what prompts the statement.

You suppose you’re just…too used to people asking that, especially since society makes you feel like you somehow got a late start in figuring things out. In reality, it’s never too early or too late to be whoever you want. You’re just…getting to that.

You clear your throat, setting your custard sandwich down on your lap a moment, the foil protecting your clothes. “I have no idea,” You admit with a soft laugh, “My relationship with my ex kinda took all my energy—supporting whatever he needed, you know? Now I’m just starting to figure myself out.” And you’re proud of that progress, even though it feels like pushing a boulder up a hill sometimes. “I might teach maybe, one day.”

He holds your gaze for a moment, slight amusement dancing in the corners of his eyes. He smiles gently, looking down at your hands before he picks up your sandwich and licks whipped cream off the corner. Ridiculously obscene and unnecessary but you let him do it anyways.

You have apparently become accustomed to sharing things—you’ve noticed that he continues the ruse of soft touches and intimate gestures when no one’s watching. You think it’s to help solidify the fact that you’re supposed to be dating, supposed to be into one another. Which isn’t very hard when he does things like that with his tongue.

Austin tosses your trash like he did with his own before turning to look at you, handing you a napkin to wipe your hands off. “I could tell you wanted more. And you know, there’s nothin’ wrong with that.”

Then why does it feel so guilty for you to admit— “Sometimes it feels selfish, to want things for myself.” You swallow, letting it sink into the air. You’ve never told anyone that before, not even your best friend or your parents.

“Sounds like someone really selfish made you feel that way.” He says gently and it’s like…wool has been taken off your eyes. Something you maybe knew but needed to hear.

It’s not what you expect him to say, not in the slightest, but it warms you from the inside out either way. You nod because yes, you’ve never thought about it like that but yes, that’s it exactly. Realizing that taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do—knowing yourself and that you deserve to want, that it’s normal, even.

Austin hums softly, moving to slip off the car. You swing your legs around and when he offers you his hand, you take it to slide off as well.

How easy it would be to lean up and kiss him, how he’d probably taste like hints of chocolate and strawberry. You wait for him to let you go, for his hand to stop holding yours. But he doesn’t.

You lick your own lips, your eyes looking to his lower one, how it pouts out gently when he looks at you—and you decide to stop waiting for things you want. If you’re going to pay for his company, you might as well enjoy it.

You press your lips into his own, capturing something sweet, lips moving together like you both were always made to kiss. Austin’s one hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing your hair back around your ear before eventually pulling back. You’re breathing a little shakily, your noses brushing, Austin taking his time to trace your cheekbone with his lips before he opens up the car door for you.

“You’re not charging me extra for the gentleman treatment, are you?” Or for the kisses I keep stealing?

Austin smiles, a soft laugh leaving his throat as he waits for you to put your seatbelt on. “Not yet.” And closes the door with a wink.

You think about canceling six times between when you wake up on the day of the wedding to the moment you slide your dress over your head. You’ve told yourself that this was and continues to be a terrible idea and if you hadn’t paid him half up front through a cash app, you’d have the nerve to tell him never mind. Kisses and all, you really feel like you’re starting to lose your damn mind.

Though you know even if you told Austin to forget the whole thing, you still have to go to this wedding. (You could probably skip it no big deal, but the last thing you want is Todd to assume you’re bothered either). Canceling now would definitely mean going alone and you can’t stomach it, not when you feel like all of your insides are already in knots.

You smooth your hands down the front of your dress as you hear the doorbell, taking the steps downstairs carefully in your gold heels. You’ve settled for a navy-blue number that shows just enough cleavage and is ruffled at your middle, hugging curves and kissing your skin beautifully. You feel confident and comfortable, which is important for a long night.

You sigh, glancing at your front door for a moment before turning the knob and opening up to see Austin. He’s standing in a suit, beautifully polished, hair perfectly coifed on his head. A navy button-down underneath a gray suit jacket, tie to match with a red spidery design that reminds you of tree branches in the winter.

A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows because, “Why are you shakin’ your head?” He asks as he steps over the threshold and you close the door.

“I just naturally assumed you were going to show up in black. Black in your profile picture that finally loaded, black at the bar… I thought that was the only shade you owned.”

He runs a hand lightly over his chest. “Grays in the same shade family.” He’s joking but you’re not laughing and finally he just throws his hands up a little, “What’s the big deal?”

“Because we match.”

Austin looks down at himself and pauses, doesn’t get it, gives you a look that makes you feel a little crazy. “That a bad thing?”

“It’s—” No, it’s not exactly a terrible idea but it somehow digs under your skin because you want today to be perfect and Austin is supposed to be your boyfriend and you can’t be that couple that goes all matchy-matchy to events, right?

What are the odds that he shows up in something that is the exact same color as your damn dress?

“It’s too perfect, it’s not believable.” You say and he raises his eyebrows because that does not make one lick of sense. He takes a step towards you and you mirror one back, shaking your head.

Austin lets out a slow breath because you’re nitpicking and it annoys him, a flare of impatience decorating his handsome face. “Well I don’t exactly got another suit in my back pocket and we’re already late.”

You narrows your eyes, “Just…follow me. I’ll change.”

You’re up the stairs and in your bedroom before you realize what you’ve said, Austin slipping in behind you and looking around the room, drinking you in with permission you’ve accidently given him. You turn suddenly and slip off your heels, pressing one hand to his chest to stop him.

“Don’t move.”

He smiles a little and nods his head, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watches you slide into your walk-in closet to change. You sigh softly and run a hand over your forehead before you take a moment to unzip your dress and glance at your options.

“A lot of beige.”

You roll your eyes and pull out a black dress, quickly pulling it on and kicking your navy blue one to the side before stepping out of your closet. You don’t bother to zip it up until you make sure it’s the right one.

Austin has dutifully not moved from the spot on the carpet where you’ve left him and he scrunches his nose at your dress, “You goin’ to a wake?”

“What’s wrong with beige?” You glance around your bedroom; at the little accents you’ve added that have color to them. Some shades of coffee colored brown and touches of teal here and there. It’s minimalist but tasteful.

“It’s just not what I pictured.”

“You pictured my bedroom?” You ask, but the corners of your mouth pull slightly as you put your hands on your hips.

Austin tilts his head at you, eyes traveling over your body in an unashamed way. “Maybe.” He pauses for a moment to let that sink into your pores. “You don’t seem like a beige. Also, no to that dress. I can maybe get you not wantin’ to match completely but that doesn’t line up with what I got on at all.”

You nod and turn to go back into your closet, pulling the dress off and standing far too long in your underwear trying to decide on a color range. You could go gold…but that feels too flashy, gray is out of the question and so is another navy dress so…

You finger red fabric for a moment that matches the scarlet on Austin’s tie and pull it off the hanger.

“I’m not actually that fond of beige,” You admit over your shoulder as you pull the dress up—it’s a fit and flare that kind of reminds you of the sixties. Something that hugs your waist with a high-neck tanked top and flares out like a wide flame at the bottom. It hits just below your knees and your gold heels will still go nicely with it.

“But the house kinda came this way and…I never took the time to fix it.” You walk out of the closet, pulling your hair free from underneath. “Todd didn’t like bold colors anyways.”

Austin’s eyes descend on you like a cold rush of water, a wave crashing down onto your shores. He stares for what feels like a long time, his hands coming out of his pockets like he wants to touch but can’t—too far away. You smile softly as his gaze sticks, he’s captivated by the dress, and you notice he has to shake his head as you approach to be able to speak to you.

“So I’m guessin’ he’s not gonna like this.” He reaches to touch your waist, fingers pressing warmly into the fabric.

You chew on the inside of your cheek a moment, looking up at him. “Do you like it?”

He smirks gently, pulling on your elbow to turn you around. He doesn’t reply but you feel suddenly naked under his gaze as your bare back is exposed to him. He takes his time finding the zipper and slowly draws it up into place, fixing the little hook at the top. His hands rest against your shoulders and guide down, squeezing your arms before letting you go.

“Get your shoes. We’re already late.”

You let out a long sigh that somehow turns into a pout, making him smile, “We could stay here, you could give more wisecracks about my bedroom decorum.”

Austin smirks and grabs your purse from where it’s seated on the bed as you slip your heels back on. “As amazing as that sounds, that’s not what you’re payin’ me for.”

And the words sound sour, swallowing them down, nodding your head as you leave the bedroom with him.

The wedding itself isn’t actually terrible—it’s beautiful in a way that would make any woman envious. Lots of flowers and gold designs and as you watch the entire ceremony take place, you have moments where you wonder why you’re here. Was it really that important for you to show up? And not only that, but pay a date to be here? You keep going back and forth, like a serious game of tug-of-war.

Why did it matter if you showed up alone? Or with Jill?

Austin helps you with your coat, his hand on your lower back as you walk out of the church and towards the reception hall which is being held in this beautiful botanical garden that has rooms you can rent for things like this.

People begin to pile into the building, pausing at the coat check before heading into the reception all, and it’s right there that you suddenly feel like bolting. Truth is? Todd was your boyfriend for years before your breakup (a breakup that might have never happened if you hadn’t realized he was cheating, because clearly he hadn’t taken the initiative until it was too late). And it’s probably so stupid that you remained friends with him, that you were invited to this wedding, that you for some reason care about what he thinks—even now.

But you do.

You should have just moved on and thrown the wedding invitation in the trash but…feelings don’t always come in black and white. You constantly live in a shade of gray.

And you’re worried someone is going to see right through you tonight.

Austin squeezes your hand, getting your attention as you remain grounded by the coat check. He’s patient, waiting until your gaze meets his own. “You’re shakin’.” His other hand covers the one he’s already holding.

You nod your head and offer a smile you don’t feel. “I thought this would be easy. Having you here as a distraction, smiling at all the right times and drinking too much wine in a nice dress,” You shrug your one shoulder, “It doesn’t change how I feel.”

Despite the small amount of privacy the coat check wall provides, you can feel eyes on you two from different parts of the room; people slipping past to get a glass of champagne from the cash bar, fluttering in-between hors d'oeuvres tables and congratulating the couple. Guests who know who you are, who are whispering about you. You can hear Todd a few feet away; big laughs and too loud discussions that tell you he’s a little drunk but genuinely happy.

Or maybe this is all in your head.

“Look, I think you were gonna feel this way no matter if you came alone or with someone.” He runs his thumb over your knuckles. “But you can still do all the other things you mentioned,” Austin leans in, brushes his lips over your cheekbone as he talks, “Drink too much wine in a beautiful dress and smilin’ definitely doesn’t hurt.”

He pulls back and you lick your lips, wanting nothing more than to lean up and kiss him again. To feel his arms wrap around you and pull you close, back outside, to his car, away from this place where you feel like you have to be someone you’re not.

Austin grasps your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, waiting until your eyes meets his own again. He leans forward to brush your lips together, gently, more to distract you than anything else because it’s not a kiss.

“Women hire me because they want to feel wanted and if that’s what you need to hear, then fine, I do want you, Y/N.” You let out a breath that sounds too shaky for your own good, your knees slightly buckling. All the other gazes you once felt on you fade away, until it’s only you and Austin in an empty botanical garden.

“But hearin’ that doesn’t matter until you want things for yourself. You want someone to believe in you? You want to feel confident? Wanted?” His hand falls to your waist, “Good enough?”

You swallow thickly, his words reaching something that’s still raw inside of you, that still hurts to think about. You want to pull away, nearly do, but instead surrender to his weight against you. It’s not his fault that he does a better job of reading you than you do looking in a mirror.

“Then it has to come from you first.”

You shake your head as he pulls away, his hand very simply returning to yours as you both move towards the cash bar. “I know you think you know me from a few meetings and a detailed email request. But you don’t.” Your words at least sound stronger than you feel.

Austin looks at you over his shoulder and smiles but says nothing in return.

Maybe the problem is, he does know you, even from the simplest interactions. Maybe you’re just not used to being seen. Todd never saw you, even when you gave him so many chances to try. You suppose at that point you need to want to try.

You’re seated at a table that has mostly co-workers and friends and you attempt not to cringe when someone asks you how you know the bride and groom. Austin swoops in and responds that they’re friends, his arm stretched out over the back of your chair. You’re grateful because the words we dated are sitting in your throat like a lump, difficult to swallow over.

The night spins forward, you’re able to avoid the bride and groom for the duration of it, just enjoying food and a little bit too much wine and hanging out with Austin. There are long conversations where you get to know one another, fill one another in about things that are real, beyond the layers of this fake-date situation.

It’s nice, seeing him in that light, getting to know him as if you’d bumped into him at a bar and enjoyed his company.

You almost wish that was the case, instead.

His arm squeezes around your waist as you both dance on the dance floor, his jacket on the back of his chair, dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. You’re definitely a little tipsy, the room is rose-colored, but all in all? It feels like a crisis has been avoided, you’re actually having a good time.

“Can I get you another glass of wine?” Austin asks, brushing his lips over your forehead, “Maybe some cookies from the dessert table?”

You grin, “You know me so well.” And it’s not a line, somehow, you’ve been craving cookies for the past half hour.

Austin smiles, nods, squeezes your waist and leaves you to do just that. You somehow ache with missing the heat of his body once he’s gone—and that’s how you know you’re slightly in over your head. You have to keep reminding yourself that none of this is real—the way Austin talks to you or looks at you, the way his hands travel over your body, the slight brush of his lips against your own.

It's all a lie.

A lie that you paid for.

Running a hand over your forehead, you turn and nearly bump into someone, blinking as you look up and—

“Todd.”

Your ex smiles, “Hey—I’m so glad you came, I wasn’t sure if you would.”

Neither was I, “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” Chewing on your lower lip, you’re struck with being unsure of what to say, scanning the crowd for Austin before clearing your throat, “Uhm, everything has been beautiful.”

Todd smiles, nodding, taking a look around for his bride. “Thank you. Are you uh, here with Jill?”

You open and close your mouth like a goldfish until you feel that familiar arm slide around you. “No this is Austin,” You take the glass of wine and have a hearty sip and it instantly makes your head spin.

Todd clears his throat and even though he’s smiling, it’s clear he’s giving Austin a once-over. He did not expect you to be here with someone. “I didn’t know you were bringing a friend that wasn’t Jill.” He kinda laughs, like maybe it’s a joke that you don’t have many other close friends other than her.

But Austin is quick to smile, “Actually, I’m her boyfriend.”

And there it is, the look on Todd’s face that you were after this whole time. It’s quick, gone almost as soon as it appears, but lingers in his eyes. Regret, maybe even jealousy. Even though his wife appears by his side and introductions are exchanged.

Luckily the conversation doesn’t last very long, the bride and groom are swept towards other people, more dancing. Which is good because you’re pretty sure you noticed that the bride couldn’t keep her eyes off of Austin.

What a couple her and Todd make.

Downing the rest of the wine, you set it on the table, letting out a slow breath. Austin keeps his hands firm on your hips and you can’t quite meet his eyes. You’re not quite sure how…this wasn’t what you expected, nor wanted.

Just feels like a big mistake.

“Wanna get out of here?” He asks quietly, seeming to read your mind.

You nod and he keeps his arm around you until you make it outside and reach his car.

That last glass of wine did you zero favors and by the time you make it to your front door, you’re dropping your keys instead of sliding them into the lock. Austin smiles a little, picking them up and unlocking everything, pushing the door open. You’ve got a firm hand on his shirt because you’re swaying slightly, almost a little afraid of what might happen if you let go.

What if all of this is one weird dream?

“Where are we going?” You ask as he comes inside, closing the door behind him.

“Water n’bed.” Austin replies as he guides you into the living room.

You scrunch your nose and look to the ceiling, definitely knocking yourself off balance as the room spins. Austin lets out a short grunt as he catches you, steadying you against his chest.

“In that order? That’s so boring.”

He chuckles slightly, guiding you both until he has you in front of the couch, encouraging you to sit. “You got somethin’ else you’d rather do?”

You can’t help but grin at the question, poking at his chest. “I think you know what I’d rather like to do.” It’s like hot lava pouring from your lips, you can’t seem to stop it even though you know you’ll have burns later.

Austin hums under his breath but doesn’t respond, concentrates instead on keeping you on the couch once you’re seated.

“Stay there,” He says when you try to get up, holding onto your shoulders and pressing you gently down. “You good or you gonna slip off?” There’s an amused smile pulling handsomely at his lips as he tilts his head down to look at you, slipping his thumb and forefinger along your chin.

“Good, I’m so good.” You nod, determined to give him responses that make sense. You just wish the room would stop spinning.

Only when he feels like you mean it does he pull away from you. You closes your eyes as your fingers grip the cushion, trying to hold yourself in place. None of this really helps and instead you just end up feeling nauseas, forcing your eyes to open so you can see Austin.

He’s taken his jacket off, tie gone and shirt unbuttoned a bit, and seeing his chest and forearms makes heat unwantedly pool between your legs and you lick your lips, trying to focus on what he has in his hands.

“He…he honestly didn’t think I’d be there with anyone.”

A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows and he pauses, “What?”

You swallow, not sure if your trail of thought makes sense. “Todd. Jerk.” You give as an explanation.

Something passes over Austin’s face but it’s gone as soon as it appears and he crouches in front of you, his one hand slipping over your knee a moment, “Do you actually care what he thinks?”

You hold his gaze for a long moment before shaking your head. He hums softly, squeezing, his thumb between your thighs and it’s really too distracting.

“Then fuck him; neither of those two seemed like they should be giving relationship advice.”

You giggle something ridiculous and cover your face with your hand a moment, glad you were able to make sense of all that even though you probably didn’t need to bring it up.

“You got anythin’ like a long t-shirt?” He changes the subject as he makes a motion to go upstairs. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get pants on you.”

You huff out a sound and rub a hand over your face, most likely smearing makeup in the worst way. “That’s alright, I like bein’ pantless.” You reach over and is happy you don’t tumble, using one hand to hold onto his shoulder to get his attention. “Upstairs, first drawer on the right.”

He’s back and forth quickly; makes you wonder how long you’ve actually been sitting there.

Him undressing you is a blur; you note that he does his best to dip his gaze when he can to give you a little privacy. Just enough that you can figure out that your head doesn’t go into one of the arm holes and assists when you starts whining that you can’t get it right. You throw your wedding dress aside and kicks off your heels, letting out a soft huff when Austin disappears into the kitchen.

He comes back with a warm washcloth that smells like lilac soap and he waits until your gaze focuses on him before he asks whether you can do this yourself.

You nod a little absently, taking the washcloth from him and wiping your makeup off before handing it back to him. You pull as many bobbypins as you can find from your hair and toss them onto the coffee table, pulling your strands back up into a bun before collapsing face first into the couch.

You barely feel the couch dip as you smush your face into a pillow, blankets being draped over your shoulders.

When you wake up, you don’t automatically remember where you are.

You lift your head and groan softly, pinching your eyes with your thumb and forefinger trying to get the pounding to stop. There’s a soft blue light casting shadows on the walls of the living room and oh, that’s right, you’re home. Austin brought you home last night.

You swallow and nearly sit up too fast, leaning up on your elbows because oh, oh fuck, now you remember. A wave of nausea crashes down on you for moving and you flutter your eyes closed briefly and hope that helps. When you feels confident enough to fix your gaze on something other than the inside of your eyelids, you turn to look at Austin who’s sitting up in one of the lounge chairs nearby against a few pillows, watching TV.

He didn’t leave. He stayed with you the entire night.

The sound from the TV isn’t loud enough to be heard but you can tell he does this often, eyes on the screen, just absorbing the images that flicker to life. His head dips to look over at you when you move; he looks tired. You really hope he didn’t sit up to just…keep an eye on you, making sure you slept alright.

You clear your throat, the sound scratchy and dry regardless of your trying, “Am I dead?”

Austin smirks a little and stands to come and sit by your legs, handing you a glass of water that’s on the coffee table. “Here. You passed out before I could get you to drink any.”

You sigh softly and close your eyes, moving to sit up further and is glad to see the room isn’t spinning anymore. “Lovely.” You drink deeply after a few tentative sips to make sure you can keep it down.

“You stayed.”

“I did.” Austin’s quiet for a few moments, playing with the corners of one of the blankets. Clearly he’s not going to elaborate. “You got a headache?”

You hum an affirmative response but it’s nothing water and Advil can’t cure. You lean your head back against the headboard, closing your eyes again for a few moments to avoid the blue light spilling into the room from the TV. You give yourself some time to sip your water before you open them again, setting the glass down on the table. There’s cookies there too, from last night. Austin kept them.

You sense embarrassment licking at your nerve endings, feeling a little ridiculous for your behavior. You should really know better than to let yourself go like that, especially since it doesn’t take too many glasses of wine in a row for it to happen.

“Sober?” He asks and there’s a tilt to his voice that you don’t like, far too amused.

You groan and turn your head to look at him, trying to muster up a glare that doesn’t stick. “Unfortunately.” You rake your fingers through your hair, trying to not even think about what you might look like.

You’re just glad you didn’t vomit.

A deep breath settles in and out of your lungs before you turn your head to look at Austin, the light of the TV casting beautiful shadows on his face. Your eyes skitter over the scruff beginning on his jawline and your fingers itch to follow. You clear your throat, getting his attention, and he turns his head to look at you.

“I’m sorry for getting plastered.” You smile a little because he does; that same amusement back on his face, though it doesn’t bother you this time around. “I’m shocked that you do weddings.”

You allow yourself to laugh a little, shaking your head like it’ll somehow clear the fuzzy memories of him bringing you back to your home, tripping over yourself. You regret the way you’ve carried yourself, but a tiny part of you is glad you decided to let yourself go, to enjoy the open bar and let your emotions run a little rampant for once.

You’re so used to keeping everything inside, to holding it all in. For once you didn’t.

Austin’s chewing on words he’s not saying, you can see the hesitance in his expression, wanting to say something but unsure if he should. You wait, don’t press, and eventually,

“Admittedly, I haven’t done a wedding in a while.” He shakes his head, “Because they tend to be messy in a way that I never expect.”

You wince, rubbing the back of your neck because…clearly you hadn’t planned on making a fool out of yourself but Austin quickly continues to explain,

“I don’t mean you.” He turns a bit to lean against the couch, his shoulder pressed along the cushions. Austin licks his lips, his eyes tracing your jawline and lips, slipping down your neck and collarbone enough to make you shiver.

“In your request, you said somethin’ like, ‘I don’t want my ex to feel like he’s taken something from me. Something that’s mine and will always be mine’.”

You search his eyes for a moment and when his finally meet yours, something warm and aching starts in your chest, blooming outward like a flower only meant to grow at night. You swallow thickly, “You remember that?” Because you kinda…bared you soul in that request for a date service. You hadn’t meant to come across so desperate but…you were also just being honest.

“I have a very good memory,” He attempts to wave this off, and you want to tell him not to—that what he’s saying matters. Austin’s seeing you, over walls you didn’t realize you had up after all this time.

“You said kind of implied that you wanted Todd to regret cheating on you, but I think you really meant that you wanted him to see that he didn’t break you.” He licks his lips and trails his pinky finger along your jawline as he curls loose hair behind your ear. “I’ve met a lot of women in similar situations, and not all of them have handled it like you.”

A laugh slips out of your throat, something you can’t stop. You’re trying to break the tension gathering in the room, something heavy and thick like warm cotton settling over both of you. Handled it? You haven’t exactly done that well, have you? If last night is any indication.

“What, they didn’t hire a male escort and get piss drunk?”

He smiles gently, shaking his head. “They let their exes break them because they couldn’t figure out who they were without them.”

The warmth in your chest threatens to burst and you wish for a moment that you could see yourself the way Austin does, so clearly, like everything is laid out before him, all he has to do is read.

“But not you.” It barely leaves his mouth before you close the distance between them.

The heat erupts in a single kiss, both of Austin’s hands tangling themselves in your hair, pulling it loose from your haphazard bun. He kisses you like you’ve always wanted to be kissed, even though you hadn’t realized it was something that was missing until now.

He inches you forward, forcing you to move until you’re straddling his waist, blankets getting caught and tangled in-between. Anything that’s been building up suddenly releases into you both, like a wave crashing, heated breaths against skin and not being able to get close enough. Austin tugs off your long t-shirt and a shiver travels down your skin as you reach up and automatically unclasp your bra.

You sit there for a moment, almost in the wake of realizing what you’ve done, and you watch Austin’s gaze. His eyes drink you in, hands still on your waist, trailing up your sides, thumb slipping underneath one of your breasts to press against your ribcage. The touch is intimate enough to cause something sharp in your throat, thick swallowing for it to disappear. You lean forward, presses your foreheads together and you kiss again.

You’re fumbling to get blankets down, to move everything out of your way and Austin flips your positions, easing you down onto your back along the cushions. He rifles for something in his suit jacket that’s nearby while you slip your hips up to slide your underwear down and off and away. He’s got too many layers on and you itch to immediately remove his shirt when he’s overtop of you again.

Toned skin greets you and you can’t help but touch, sink your fingers in, drag your nails. The noises that leave Austin’s throat are enough to single handedly build the heat beginning in your lower belly, something you don’t think you ever want to stop hearing. He moves only long enough to take his pants off, tossing them to the side, and he holds your gaze—

He waits.

You swallow and know this is such a bad idea, that nothing good can come from this. But wasn’t it Austin who urged you to figure out what you want? You want to feel confident? Wanted? Good enough?

Then it has to come from you first.

There’s a half-nod in Austin’s direction before he’s slipping a hand down between you, to put a condom on but also—

You moan, rolling your hips as you feel his fingers slide against you, inside of you. He teases, rolls flesh between his thumb and forefinger, lips falling to your neck to leave kisses that eventually find your mouth again.

He takes his time even though you wish he wouldn’t, building you up and letting you down easy before pressing inside. You gasp and your back arches, hips rolling forward, Austin leaning down to capture your mouth again, to absorb your sounds. You wrap your legs around him, which makes moving a little difficult, but you don’t want him to move too far away, want to constantly feel him—keep you both connected.

Austin nips at your lower lip with his own, not taking you long to build up what you’ve started. Pleasure circles in your veins, pulling you towards an end that you doesn’t want to reach yet. He doesn’t stop, keeps moving his hips forward at a quickening pace and you dig your nails into his back.

You barely have time to warn him before you’re cumming, though because your bodies are molded together, you think he already knows—probably knew before you did. He grunts as he loses himself in you, his face falling to your neck, gentle panting and lazy kissing.

You tilt your head back so your throat is exposed, your hands slipping down his back and settling on his waist, his skin a little slick to the touch. He lays there for a long few moments and you take one another in, his chest pressing into your own as you both breathe.

He pulls back too soon for your liking, but you don’t have the energy to tell him to stop. Austin cleans himself up, slipping onto the couch again, this time behind you, and pulls you close. You turn on your side, blankets coming up over your shoulder as you puzzle-piece both of you together, your face hiding in his neck, already falling asleep.

Austin says nothing, which is fine with you, he doesn’t need to say anything. His lips find your shoulder, a few kisses here and there, hands intertwining in your hair.

You finally figure out what you want—

and you want this. You want him.

You wake up before Austin does, pulling yourself from the couch and disappearing into the bathroom near the kitchen. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you kinda shake your head before drawing up Jill’s text messages on your phone.

Y/N: I think I messed up.

You wash your face and feel a little more human, sitting down on the closed toilet seat as she pings you back.

Jill: oh no, what happened? Jill: please tell me Austin didn’t turn out to be a serial killer

You laugh, your hand covering your mouth. Jesus. A small, hysterical part of you wonders if that’d be easier to deal with.

Y/N: the wedding went fine, he brought me back home, stayed the night Y/N: may or may not have had sex with him on my couch this morning??

Jill instantly tries to call you and you press the red button—you can’t talk to her when he’s still here.

Y/N: I can’t, he’s still here

Jill: !!!!!! Jill: girl omg— Jill: how was it? 😉

Running a hand over your face, you wonder if you should have ever said anything. Then again, there’s this small smile tugging the corners of your mouth. In general, you know that there’s nothing wrong with what you’ve done—both of you are consenting adults. But then there’s this whole other layer of…paying him to be your date. It’s not like you paid him for sex or anything but…

You kinda can’t help but wonder how many jobs he takes that end up like this.

Y/N: it was perfect but that’s not the point

Jill: so what is the point?

You sigh softly, tapping on your cash app and just…wondering. So many insecurities and questions and wonderings wrapping around you like a blanket, except it’s far too tight, suffocating almost. Taking in a breath, you set your phone down on the counter, looking up when there’s a knock on the bathroom door.

“Y/N?” Austin asks, “You alright?”

Reaching over to grasp the knob, you open the door with a soft smile, “Yeah.”

Austin looks ridiculously adorable slept on. His hair is slightly askew, skin looking warm, a soft, tired look in his eyes. God, you can’t believe he’s been here for so long in these wedding clothes, back in his slacks and a white undershirt.

“I uh,” He clears his throat, “M’gonna head home. Shower, change. But…”

You lick your lips, your stomach flip-flopping with eagerness.

“I was thinkin’ I could come back later; we could talk?”

God, talking sounds like such a great idea. Not to mention you could shower too, put yourself together, feel more like someone capable of having a serious conversation. So you nod with a soft smile—that sounds perfect.

And then—

You can pinpoint the exact moment that Austin glances to the sink and sees the cash app open because his expression changes, like a shadow passing over but instead of dissipating—it stays, darkening the color of his eyes. A breath catches in your throat as you straighten your shoulders, words on your lips and stuck on your tongue. Nothing comes out.

His gaze flickers up from the phone to your eyes and what you see there is like a cold bucket of ice water, anger but…deeper, it’s—

“Not what it looks like.” You finally say, breaking the tension into pieces with a hammer.

Austin hums, nodding his head and licking his lips. He’s trying very hard to speak without sounding annoyed, “What’s it like then?” He asks, the words daggered. “Cause it looks like you were about to pay me for services rendered.”

You shake your head and stand from the toilet on wobbly knees. Austin takes a step back from you, almost like a caged animal, getting ready to bolt. And then you realize, right, he’s not angry, he’s hurt.

“No—”

“Don’t lie to me,” He grounds out, the words chewed on between his teeth.

A shuddered noise leaves your lips because you can tell you’re losing it, this conversation slipping like sand between your fingers. He’s not going to be willing to listen to you if you confirm he’s right, that you had thought about it—if you admit you weren’t sure what you were doing or what sleeping together meant.

You distantly know that this isn’t going to end well, no matter what you say. Austin tore his walls down in front of you, exposed himself, and now he looks like a fool for doing it. Even if it’s on accident, you’ve hurt him, and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to backpedal without looking guilty.

“I thought about it,” You admit after a moment. “I wasn’t…” The last thing you wanted to do was make him feel cheap; you know that this thing started as a transaction but also that something changed last night.

“Nah, it’s good. You were payin’ me to do a job, right?” Austin turns to walk back to the living room, gather up his things. And it’s like…you have no idea what you can possibly say, how you can stop him.

Your legs carry you forward, “Austin, don’t.” You sigh and puts a hand on your lips, suddenly feeling nauseas as he moves too quick for you to stop him.

“Business is business. You can stop feelin’ so guilty,” He straightens his shoulders before grabbing his jacket, slipping it on. Metaphorically it feels like a shield, another layer he’s building back up between them both, shutting you out.

He can’t possibly leave like this, right?

You’re practically stumbling over your own feet as he makes it to the front door, “Please don’t walk away.”

His hand pauses on the doorknob, just for a moment, like he might actually be considering your words. But then he yanks the door open and slams it shut once he’s outside.

You don’t go after him.

Time goes on.

You expect that Austin might reach out to you—to apologize, to start over, or maybe even request the unfulfilled payment that he was supposed to receive after the wedding date. But nothing, it’s radio silent…and you think that’s worse.

You want to reach out to him on your own, but you’re not even sure where to begin. How to apologize for thoughts that are incomplete in your head. How to express emotions that are sitting at the bottom of your ribcage.

You’re just hoping for a chance to apologize and explain yourself, even though you’re not entirely sure you deserve it. Is this really it? Going back to business as usual and pretend they never met one another?

You sigh as you hear a few knocks on your door and hate how it feels like hope, quickly moving from your kitchen to tug it open and see Jill on the other side. You give her a small smile, letting her inside,

“I got your twenty texts, you alright?”

You run a hand over your forehead and shake your head, moving towards the kitchen for Jill to follow. You offer her a cup of coffee, sitting back at the counter with your own. Wrapping your hands around the ceramic, you glance up at your friend,

“I screwed up.”

Jill sighs softly, grabbing a cup for the coffee because clearly, she’s going to need it. “Tell me what happened; your texts were all hysteria and no detail.”

You map out the whole thing from start to finish, the chapel, the reception, the night of, the morning after—your voice drops on intimate details, like somehow you have to keep them exactly that. Intimate.

“Damn, Y/N.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, “I know…it was an accident.” You swallow. “The money part, anyways.”

She adds a few spoonfuls of sugar to her mug, stirring. “Does tall, blonde and brooding know that?”

You let your hand fall from your face, eyes focusing out the window above the sink at the city sounds and sights. Suddenly a dark blue gaze rekindles in your memory, the hurt there, wounded and refusing to let you past his boundaries again.

“I tried to tell him; he wouldn’t listen.”

Jill hums under her breath a moment and shuffles, “Maybe give him some time? Try him tomorrow.”

Easier said than done, “I don’t even know where he lives. He’s not going to pick up the phone if I try to call him; texts are useless.”

Your friend’s quiet for a few moments, considering—and then a sound leaves her lips and you picture a lightbulb going off on her facial expression. “But you know where he works.”

You stand outside the café that Austin works at for what feels like a long time, staring at the sign and pacing back and forth to your car parked down the street. You really hope no one is watching you because you probably looks crazy; you feel crazy. You can’t just approach this man where he works, can you? You don’t even know if he’s working today.

But it’s…worth a try, right? Like one last shot before you just drop it.

You’re not sure that if the situations were reversed, he’d show up at your front door, so. Or maybe you’re just hoping he would.

So after spending ten minutes contemplating what to do, you finally force yourself to walk up the café door and make your way inside. It’s a hole in the wall but filled to the brim with people at tiny circular tables, waiting in line to place their order with a beautiful blonde cashier and satisfied customers adding sugar and creamer to their coffees at a station to your left.

The heady scent of fresh coffee and baked goods slam into you like a truck, leaving you almost breathless. This place blends in when it should stick out—she wonders if you didn’t know Austin if you’d come in to order an iced coffee just walking by on the street.

Your eyes graze behind the counter until you finally spot him further down, filling baked goods trays in a window that were once empty. A ton of questions hit you at once; did he make those baked goods that are at his fingertips? How does he separate the time between the café and the stand-in job? What are you going to say to him?

Before you can fully approach him, Austin glances up—and spots you.

He’s not happy to see you but he doesn’t look as pissed off as the last time you saw him, so, you consider that progress. You swallow as you walk towards the counter and your hand settles on the top of the glass, the lights above the pastries warming your palm.

“Hi.” That’s it? That’s all you can say? This conversation is going to be just as painful as the last one.

Austin doesn’t have a chance to open his mouth because another worker, a blonde girl, rushes to the counter because she must be on register, “Hi,” She smiles, bright, “We have orange scones on sale today. What can I get you?”

You smile gently at her, glancing at Austin and wondering if he’s going to step in or just…continue not saying anything to you. You suppose you don’t blame him.

“I’ll uhm, take a hazelnut latte and one of those scones,” You nod, reaching for your wallet in your purse, “Thank you.”

“I got the rest of this, Chloe,” Austin steps in as you stick your card into the reader. “Thanks.” He watches her go before turning his attention back to you, customers passing by and receiving orders that he’s already packed at the end of the counter. He hands over your receipt.

“You stalkin’ me now?” He asks but he’s not amused, drumming his fingers on top of the counter.

You let out a slow breath and he moves to fill your order, working the espresso machine with practiced ease, “You won’t text me back.”

“Maybe that’s cause I didn’t wanna talk to you,” He says pointedly before motioning towards your right, “You skipped the line.”

“I didn’t want to order anything, I just wanted to talk.”

He smirks but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes and he grabs an orange scone, wrapping it in a napkin. “Look at you, really learned how to be honest about what you want.”

“You taught me how.” You insist, trying to catch his gaze. When you finally do, you hold it there, trying to will him to listen to you—because you’re not grasping at straws, meeting him, spending time with him…being with him really taught you about parts of yourself that were missing.

Or maybe not missing, exactly, but lying dormant.

“I just want five minutes of your time, please, then I’ll leave you won’t hear from me again.”

Austin lets out a long patient sigh with a shake of his head, something between aggravation mixed with a touch of being impressed—you’re persistent, at least. He’s going to hear you out and suddenly all the words mix in a blender and sink to the bottom of your ribs; you’re almost unsure of how to put this but all you can do is try.

“You’ve been right since we first met; I didn’t know how to want things for myself even though I expected so much out of other people.”

You chew on your lower lip a moment, eyes tracing over the handsome lines of his face—now was not the time to get distracted.

“This whole thing caught me off guard, I wasn’t prepared to want you…and not just as my stand-in date, but you.”

He doesn’t hold your gaze and maybe that’s okay, he busies himself with getting other people orders, keeping the line moving but you can tell he’s still listening to you. He’s still intent on hearing you through…even though you’re almost certain it’s not going to make a difference.

You can tell by his expression, by those walls remaining firm; they’re not budging for you.

Not again.

“The money thing was a mistake. You were right, I did open up my app and think about it because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what this thing was or if I was…imaging how I felt. So I fucked up but…so did you for not sticking around and talking to me.”

Austin’s shoulders straighten; he doesn’t appreciate you calling him out. A rod appears up his spine, his posture almost towering despite the glass case between them.

“I just…that’s it,” You swallow, your thumb running over the scone in your one hand and picking up your finished latte with another. “That’s all I wanted to say. Sorry for disrupting your work.”

You turn quickly, can’t take the look in his eyes anymore, the bustle of other people around you. You’ve said what you needed to—you should feel more complete than before, right? Because at least he knows your side of things.

It’s his turn.

You push the door open, the welcome bell dinging after you as you leave.

He doesn’t come after you.

You try to shake your head as Jill orders another shot, but can’t quite stop her because the woman has a mind of her own when it comes to having a good time.

“No,” You crinkle your nose.

Jill laughs, “Oh come on—one more. You’re not calling it early already, are you? We can get fries after this.”

You sigh, a bit dramatically, but how can you turn down fries? “Fine.” You shake your head, running a hand over your face as you sit at the counter of your frequent bar, “I’ll be back though.”

You slide off the barstool, motioning she should save your seat as you put your purse on it. She grins, cups your cheeks with her hands and plants a kiss on your forehead. You shoo her off, moving through the crowd to the restroom. Once you’ve used the bathroom and spend a little time with a cold and wet paper towel to the back of your neck, you come back out and nearly run someone over—

And blink because—

“Austin.”

It’s been a few months since you’ve seen him but fuck, he looks just as amazing as he did when you tried to explain yourself in the café. Wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, boots and a white button down, he’s got a leather jacket on as well, just a bit more scruff to his face.

“I was wonderin’ if you were gonna be here.” But it’s…contemplative, thoughtful, like he might have actually planned on trying to find you in the bar where you met.

You feel like the world might be spinning off its axis. “Here I am.”

He smiles a little, glancing over his shoulder and fuck, you wonder if he’s here with someone and—you’re pleasantly surprised that it doesn’t cause some adverse reaction. No punch in your gut that you completely screwed everything up. Time, it seems, does heal some wounds.

Maybe not heal, scar at the very least.

“I saw you post somethin’ on your instastory and I was…well I was hopin’…” He kinda trails off and two thoughts slam into your body like a freight train. One, he sounds…nervous? Which you feel like is very unlike him, given what you’ve been through together. And second? It actually sounds like he knew you were here and he meant to find you on purpose.

“Can we talk?” He asks, “Maybe outside?”

“Yes,” And god, you hope you don’t say that too fast. “Fresh air sounds good.”

As you begin to walk outside with him, you text Jill letting her know where you’re going (and with who). She sends you exactly three text messages in response that you don’t dare look at.

You take in a deep breath in once you get outside, the cool air settling over you like a bucket of cold water. You almost wish you grabbed your jacket from the bar but…dragging Austin over there towards Jill would have been such a bad idea.

It’s fine—the air is refreshing, a bit sobering and this conversation probably won’t last long either way. Taking in a breath, you turn to look at him, a soft smile on your face as you wrap your arms around yourself.

“So…”

Austin clears his throat, “You uh—?” He motions to his jacket and you’re not quite strong enough to deny his offer, so you gently nod your head. Austin slips off his leather jacket and hands it to you and you put it on.

A soft noise of approval leaves your lips as your arms go through the sleeves, a little bit long, feeling perfect though when you zip it up. The lingering scent of his cologne and skin is enough to almost knock you on your knees.

“Thank you.” You whisper, curling your hair around your ear.

You know that Austin is gathering his thoughts, but waiting almost somehow feels worse. You’re just…not sure what to do with yourself other than stare at him, hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“I shouldn’t have left you like that,” He finally says, “At your place?” It’s like the tension start to unwind from your shoulder at that, you almost have to physically swallow over your words so you can let him speak. “Just…felt like what we did, it was real—and—”

“It was real,” You assure him, can’t allow him to think otherwise, “I know this is going to sound cliché but…opening that cash app had everything to do with me, not you. I wasn’t second-guessing what happened.”

Austin gently waves you off, “It’s not your fault, I—I’m so used to things bein’ a business transaction that I just jumped to conclusions.”

You give him a small smile and it feels good? to be on the same page after all this time but…it’s not like, “It’s okay,” You curl your hair around your ear, “I’m not sure where something like this could go. I wouldn’t ask you to quit a job that’s clearly lucrative.”

Austin nods softly, “Well you don’t have to, because I already have.”

You’re not sure why what he says doesn’t register right away, you’re kinda just staring at him, wrapped up in his leather jacket, people passing you both on the sidewalk as you stand outside this bar.

Then you blink, “What?”

He smirks, running a hand through his hair as he nods, “Yeah, I uh—just didn’t want to do it anymore.”

You feel like your brain might be short circuiting, “But about acting? What about L.A.?”

A soft laugh rumbles in his throat, “I can still do L.A. Bein’ an actor isn’t goin’ anywhere.”

And you know that he still has a café job, that he can find other jobs to satisfy what he wants in terms of collecting money but…somehow you’re worried he’s traded one thing in for another. Even though Austin doesn’t look like he has any regrets as he takes a step towards you. His hands gently rest on your arms, sliding down, like he’s waiting for you to push him away.

When you don’t—

“You're not the only one goin' after what they want.”

You can’t stop a small laugh from slipping from your lips and before you can talk yourself out of it, you press yourself up on your toes and kiss him. His arms wrap around you automatically, drawing you closer, his one hand cupping the back of your neck.

It feels like you’re kissing for a long time, or maybe it’s just felt too long since you’ve kissed. Either way, pulling away makes you feel a bit breathless and Austin smiles, pressing your foreheads together for a moment.

It feels like starting over, or maybe even better, a new chapter.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler x you #austin butler fic #elvis 2022 #mccall writes things

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dietcokegirly12 · 18 days ago

Text

“Wanna Go for a Ride?”

featuring satoru gojo ‧₊˚ 𓏲 ˚ʚ ₊✧ ﾟ

‧₊˚ ┈\ō͡≡o˞̶┈‧₊˚ ┈\ō͡≡o˞̶┈‧₊˚ ┈\ō͡≡o˞̶┈‧₊˚ ┈\ō͡≡o˞̶

art credit: @aransmind

‧₊˚ ┈\ō͡≡o˞̶┈‧₊˚ ┈\ō͡≡o˞̶┈‧₊˚ ┈\ō͡≡o˞̶┈‧₊˚ ┈\ō͡≡o˞̶

OMG THANK YOU GUYS FOR 200 FOLLOWERS THOS IS CRAZYY (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)ilyyyy

tags: street racer gojo, oral (fem), unprotected sex, unsafe sex, dirty talk, petnames, swearing, slight exhibitionism if you squint, riding, you get eaten out his windoww, etc etc

word count: roughly 3k

also guys if u wanna request jjk, id be happy to! catching up on reqs rn, so just bear w me if they're late TᴗT

.˚₊‧˗ˏˋ ─── 🏎️༄ ׂ 𓈒 🏁⋆ ۪ ─── ˎˊ˗‧₊˚. ─── 🏎️

you had attended many races over the course of a successful flag girl career, so of course you had heard of the infamous satoru gojo.

you just never had the pleasure of flagging at one of his races.

until today.

it had started like any other day, you dressed in a skimpy checkered-flag two piece, leaving practically nothing to the imagination as you prepared to start off the race, holding up a black and white racing flag, the metal rod cool in your palms.

steadily, all the thrumming engines lined up next to you, cars of all kinds purring in unison.

by now you were used to the deafening noise, so you didn't pay too much mind when the particular roar of an engine sounded above the rest.

it was only until you looked over your shoulder to check for the signal, that you saw it.

the notorious baby-blue mclaren 720s gt3 that had every girl in the world swooning. and behind it, the cocky white-haired man at the wheel, manspreading across the leather seats, an overconfident grin on his face, with his matching blue helmet slightly tilted up.

his gloved fingers grip tightly around his of course bedazzled wheel, and you see his eyes flick to you, smirk spreading wider.

flushing slightly, you turn back, beginning to sway the flag around, signifying that the race was about to start.

thick smoke plumes out of various flashy tailpipes, and surrounds you in its fumes, as everyone revs their engines, loud roars and vibrations thrumming through your chest.

finally, you raise your arm in a final up-down motion, your full breasts bouncing, and the cars take off.

the moment however, seems to slow, becoming more intimate as gojo's car accelerates past you, your heart thumping as it nearly brushes you, the caress of the smoke following behind him on your body almost sensual. his head turns back to wink at you, and then he's gone, fumes kicking up behind him.

you stare after him as all the cars quickly whiz ahead, the thousands of fans in the crowd cheering loudly and waving signs for countless racers, but you knew, almost without a doubt, that gojo was going to win.

you knew it by the way he had this self-assured, confident air about him, like he had never lost a race in his life, which he probably hadn't. you knew it by the way he looked almost bored waiting for the race to start, only entertained by the sight of you before him. you knew it by the way he only had one lazy hand on the wheel, like this was tedious for him.

and as you wait for the cars to come back, so you can wave the flag at the winner, you find your thoughts wandering to what you had heard about the racer called satoru.

just who exactly was he, anyway?

your other flag girlfriends had always giggled about his looks and charm, claiming he had hooked up with them on various occasions where they had been flagging a race, and now that you had seen how flirtatious he was, you didn't think they were making it up.

satoru was, to put in short, a notorious playboy, known for his attractiveness and ability to go through women as fast as he finishes races, which was fast.

the cheering of the crowd increasing breaks you out of your thoughts, glancing up to see a familiar blue car in the distance, seconds away from crossing the finish line.

of course.

as his car whizzes past you at breakneck speeds, you wave the flag, signifying the end of the race, and the crowd goes wild.

screaming and shouts of praises ensue as he skids to a stop, the other cars far behind. it wasn't even close.

you stretch slightly, dropping your flag back to your side as the crowd slowly begins to disperse among themselves, the race officially over. and it's then that you hear a certain voice behind you, along with the tell-tale humming vibration of a car.

"hey, ya wanna go for a ride, pretty thing?"

you turn, to see none other than satoru gojo in all his glory, helmet cracked open to reveal glossy blue puppy eyes, and slightly mussed-up white hair.

you fold your arms slightly, flag draping down beside you. "you really do think you can get any girl you want, huh?"

he chuckles, the sound low and seductive. "oh sweetheart. i don't think. i know."

you roll your eyes, coming up to lean by his rolled-down window, face inches from his. "you're just so sure of yourself, aren't ya?"

he tilts his head mockingly. "so what if I am?"

you sigh, deciding no matter how attractive he was, this insufferable man isn’t worth it, and turn back around to leave, making it about two steps before his car pulls up in front of you again, effectively blocking you.

"c'monnn, jus' one ride? pretty please?"

you look him over with resignation, knowing he wasn't going to leave until you relented. "fine. one. only because you won."

he grins triumphantly, leaning over to open the door for you, immediately being greeted by the scent of his rich, masculine cologne overpowering your senses as you seat yourself on his over-the-top, plushy leather seats that still had a brand-new sheen to them.

the radio blares loudly some trashy bubblegum pop song that had been trending while he shifts his gear stick back, putting an arm around your headrest as he reverses.

slick.

you can't help but admire the interior of his car though, marveling at how tricked out he had made it with almost every empty square inch bedazzled in glimmering rhinestones. he even has a mini nascar racing flag hanging by the rearview window, the luxury of it all causing you to stare around, taking it all in.

he smirks, not taking his eyes off the road as he maneuvers you two to the racing highway, the low hum of his engine reverberating through you. "like what you see?"

you swallow, admittedly not completely unfazed by the presence of one of the most famous street racers in the world next to you as you nervously place your hands over your lap.

he speeds up, legs spreading wider as he glances over at you playfully. “i asked you a question, sweetheart.”

“i-it’s nice.. you've got a nice ride..” you admit, shifting in your seat as you watch the speedometer continue to climb.

“gonna show ya how nice it really is, hm?” he grins, and you feel your pulse increasing with how fast he’s going now, well over a hundred miles per hour, and how you don’t think you’re talking about his car anymore.

no. not with the way he was man spreading so wide, to the point where it’d be impossible not to notice the huge bulge straining against his racing pants.

he was hard.

impossibly so, so much that it looked like it hurt.

in fact, if you looked hard enough, you could see the clear outline of his bulbous tip and veins running along his girth. jesus. did he always drive around this obscenely bricked?

you don’t even realize how long you’ve been staring, practically mapping out his cock in your head, until he speaks, jolting you out of your lewd fantasies.

“naughty girl. s’ this the ride you were talking 'bout?”

your cheeks faintly tinge pink at being caught as you immediately look away, out the window, just to see that the car had gained even more speed in the time you were distracted. "n-no.."

before you realize, one of satoru's warm palms is gliding up your thigh, long fingers spreading to grip onto you tightly.

"no..?"

you gasp softly as his fingers rise higher, to ghost over your inner thighs lightly, so close to the place you needed him most.

and oh you can't help the pathetic whimper that escapes as his fingers trail up and down across your barely clothed slit, through your tiny checkered shorts, a faint wet patch rapidly spreading from your slick.

he lets out a knowing chuckle at the feeling of how wet you were, a confirmation to his earlier question. "it's not polite to lie, baby.."

"well, it's not polite to drive around hard as a fucking rock." you huff back, his mouth instantly curving up in amusement.

"gonna do something 'bout it, flag girl?"

and oh do you, as in one fluid motion, you swing yourself over to face him, beginning to grind down across his lap as your hands come to lift his helmet off, immediately tangling your fingers into his snowy locks.

he moans in response, hips lifting to meet you as your pussy throbs desperately atop him, practically its own heartbeat at this point.

you quickly tug down his pants enough to reveal his leaking cock in all its splendor, thick but most impressively long, reaching almost midway up his stomach. gently, you run your hand along his velvety shaft, feeling veins throb under your touch as he comes to a perfect cupid's arrow at the top.

he groans at your touch, becoming more frantic by the minute as his deft fingers come to your shorts.

"toru.. they're n-not.. you can't.." you can't help a small huff of laughter as he struggles to get them off you.

they were meant to be tight-fitting spandex, and in themselves, were hard enough to wrestle off, even without the black fishnet tights you were wearing underneath.

but he's too frenzied by this point to stop and try and figure out a logical way to get them off. no, instead he practically drags the spandex off you, before ripping apart the tights until they're nothing but tattered strings on the floor.

"toru!" but before you can protest, he's pressing you firmly against his body, jostling you slightly as he continues steering, his foot pressing harder on the gas.

"jus'.. hah.. hafta have you right now.. hold on, sweetheart, s' gonna be a bumpy ride.." and with that, he impressively lifts all of you up with one hand to line up his cock before letting go, allowing you to sink down on all his inches with a small cry.

it's almost painful how big he is. stretching you out so deliciously, as you mewl and cling onto him tightly, pressing your face into his neck to breathe out soft moans of "toru.. toru.. mmnph toru!"

he groans at your cries of his name, and you're not even sure if he's aware of how hard he's pressing the foot pedal now, car revving so loudly.

as you begin to bounce atop him, your cunt squelching noisily with every thrust, more and more slick pools out of you, leaving the seat under you to glimmer with moisture. when he sees this, he lightly swats your ass, making your moans only grow pitchier.

"nasty girl. getting m' seats all messy."

"nghh 'toru!" you whine, barely able to speak as you feel him all the way in your stomach, bulge disappearing with every thrust, your breathing ragged.

meanwhile, gojo's gripping you tightly, head lolling back against the headrest as you ruthlessly grind your hips down onto him over and over, the wet plap! plap! plap! sounds filling the car.

looking over, you see the speedometer hit one sixty, though it doesn't even feel like it.

gojo reaches one hand down to messily thumb over your exposed clit, causing you to squeal and try to clamp your legs shut, but no match for gojo's strength as he easily spreads your legs wider than before, only increasing the rough pace he had set on your ravaged pussy.

"keep 'em open, pretty." he rasps, and looking over you see how dangerous this is, car speeding down the highway while he fucked you into oblivion.

the sound of skin against skin filled the air as your ass smacked loudly against his lap, shamelessly going faster as you felt yourself get closer.

"mm, shit baby. you ride me so.. hah.. good. might jus' put me outta a job."

your thighs convulse, shuddering as you try to keep up the pace, his curved inches proving to be too much for you to handle.

gojo noticing instantly, begins to lift you up and down with one hand, guiding you as he positions you at an even better angle.

"fuck... 'toru m'close!.. hah.. s-slower.."

he pouts at you mockingly. "slower..? i thought you could take it?"

you're struggling not to cum right there and then, but desperate to prove a point, you nod, half-delirious. "mhm! mhm! can.. hah.. t-take.."

it's when gojo thrusts your hips faster, moving you up and down him like a toy as he uses you, finger pressing harshly on your clit, that you can't hold back anymore.

you feel weighty pressure against your tummy steadily building and building, your jaw dropping open as you lose yourself in it, cunt clenching and rippling tightly around him.

and then white-hot overwhelms you, a slutty moan ripping out of your throat as your back arches, and tears begin sliding down your cheeks from sheer pleasure.

it takes you a moment to realize you're cumming, and even longer that you were squirting.

gushing a glistening stream all over his pretty car and even spraying over his lower abdominals.

he groans softly. "fuuuckk baby, did you jus'.."

he can't even finish his sentence as with a shudder, he's cumming too, dumping load after load into you raw, creamy white ribbons filling your insides up and dribbling down past your thighs.

slowly, as you come down from your high, you feel the car beginning to swerve as gojo loses himself in pleasure.

his foot presses harder against the pedal as his whole body jerks upward, and you squeal clutching tight to him as the car speeds down the highway.

"toru! toru you're going too fast!"

he lazily blinks open hazy, blue eyes to steady the wheel again with one hand, the other resting against your thigh. "oh c'monnn. you haven't even seen the top speed of this baby."

with that, he presses on the gas all the way.

immediately, you're plastered to him, as the car gets dangerously faster with every breath you take.

a hundred seventy.

a hundred eighty.

a hundred ninety.

two hundred.

you can barely breathe with how rapidly his car is swallowing the road, can't move, can't even think.

"stick your head out the window real quick?"

you stare at him.

no.

he couldn't mean...

but oh yes he did, with that insufferable little grin of his, eyes glinting mischievously, just daring you to.

and you were not one to back down from a challenge.

huffing, you stick your face out, only to be shoved practically halfway out by gojo, who immediately presses his face between your plush thighs, tongue flicking out to taste you.

"such a.. fuck.. mess, hafta clean you up,"

you gasp, the rushing of air from outside only heightening the sensations coursing through you.

"g-gojo who's.. ah.. driving?"

he chuckles into your cunt, sending vibrations into you as you mewl, trying to press yourself harder against him.

"s' okay, got one hand on the wheel.."

before you can find it in you to protest however, he drags his tongue languidly all across your still dripping cunt, cleaning you up as he drinks up every last drop of your honeyed slick.

shaking his head side to side, he eats you like a man starved, hot, wet muscle dipping in and out of your entrance and tracing over you gently.

"mmph.. t-toru.. g-gonna make me..." you throw your head back in ecstasy, back arching upward as you hang halfway out of his window, still racing down an incredibly busy highway, hands coming to grip tightly on either side of his tinted glass tightly.

"taste so sweet.." he mumbles, and you feel the car swerve sharply as he presses his face deeper into you, eager tongue lapping gently.

your hips buck up slightly as you drag your messy cunt all along his face, grinding in slow strokes until his nose bumps your clit with every upward motion.

your stomach coils with heat tightly, winding up further and further with every breath until the pressure is weighing on your chest.

when he takes your puffy bud into his mouth, throbbing with sensitivity and sucks, however, it's over as your thighs quiver around him and you cry out his name, coating his chin in your syrupy slick.

he hums in approval, lapping up every drop, his snowy hair brushing your inner thighs as he moves his head.

gojo finally draws back, satisfied as you practically pull him apart from your sensitive, throbbing cunt, strings of drool and your arousal webbing him to you still as he smiles drunkenly off your pussy, still watching you arched out the window.

"hey, should i compete the next race with you, the pretty flag girl, hanging out my window?"

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myeuphoricmindset · 2 years ago

Text

The Afterlife - Eddie x Fem!reader

PART ONE:

Summary | You've been surviving in The Upside Down with Eddie for months and you had one last night with him knowing you both were going to die. But did you? (This story is a part two to my story called: As the world burns. You can find my master list on my page.)

Warnings/Tags | 18+ Unprotected sex, talk about death and world ending, mention of thinking life would be better if reader were dead (not suicide), Comfort Eddie, This one-shot is not about the smut, even though there is a small scene it’s not focused on it so please set your expectations accordingly.

Please let me know if I missed a warning.

Word count | 2.7k

Unfamiliar voices filled the room and you focused on Eddie's voice to feel safe. You’ve never seen Eddie so happy before, his smile is brighter and his laugh is louder.

After Dustin and the young girl with the short hair turned away to give you both privacy to put on clothes Eddie wasted no time hugging them and asking a thousand questions. A group of people busts through the door once El mentions that it’s clear.

“El did it! She killed Vecna and destroyed The Upside down.” Dustin shouts with excitement in his voice as Eddie hugs him for the second time. “We came back because I just had to make sure you weren’t gone. I had to.” Eddie squeezes Dustin harder and you notice tears in Eddie’s eyes before he wipes them away so no one notices.

You look away, giving them a moment. El smiles at you from across the room. She notices your timid stance behind Eddie and she steps closer to you, talking softly. “Hi, I’m El.”

You smile and introduce yourself. Eleven welcomes you and introduces you to the rest of the group as Eddie joins your side and holds your hand. Everyone seems so nice, but the amount of people in the room is overwhelming when you’ve only been around one person for the past few months and before Eddie came along you were completely alone for two months prior. The lack of human contact does something to a person, and it must be showing because everyone looks at you with pity in their eyes.

“I think we need a moment,” Eddie says softly to everyone in the room after glancing at you.

A girl with shoulder-length brown hair looks at you as she stands next to a guy with better-looking hair. She says, “Alright guys, let’s give them a breather.”

“Thanks, Robin,” Eddie says.

“We have food when you both are ready,” A boy says sweetly. He has kind eyes with a hint of sadness and that relaxes you a bit. Eddie says something to him and mentions his name. Will. You say his name in your head as you try to memorize everyone's name.

The bedroom door closes, leaving you and Eddie alone. He pulls you into a hug immediately and you inhale his comforting scent to remind yourself that it’s okay.

“We made it. We are okay. We are alive.” Eddie says in your ear as he squeezes you tighter. You aren’t sure if he’s telling you that or trying to convince himself that this is real. But you’re thankful for it because you need some convincing yourself.

Your eyes scan the room as you stand in Eddie’s arms. It’s the same bedroom, but no blue hue or spores filling the air. It’s not cold or eerie. There is no screeching from the Demobats circling the cabin. The room looks the same, but it’s warm and inviting. The atmosphere is what you remember from life before The Upside. A life that you accepted you’d never see again.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks, cupping your face. Your mouth is dry as you try to form words. Eddie's thumb brushes your cheek as he tries to comfort you. “It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?” You nod and bury your face in his chest. He strokes your hair and kisses your head. “I’m here. We will get through this.” He whispers.

Loud voices and movement from outside the room have you pulling back to look at Eddie. You want to ask him to take you home, but you have no home. The only person you had in the real world was your sister and she died during the boat accident in Lover’s Lake. An accident you think of daily, because if you didn’t follow her into that water and accidentally end up in the open gate then you might have a normal life right now. But this is your life and you have nowhere to go. Eddie has friends and you’re sure he has family and a home to return to. The realization of it all hits you and you try blinking back the tears.

“What now?” You ask faintly.

“We go home.”

“I-I don’t have a home.” You choke out.

You think for a split second that maybe it would have been better to die instead of live because at least you had a potential future with Eddie in the afterlife. But this reality is full of uncertainty. Eddie has a life to return to and you’ve never felt more alone than you do right now.

Eddie wipes your tears and lifts your chin so you meet his gaze. “What is mine is yours. Do you think I’m going to go on living without you? Fuck that. I chose you in death and I’m choosing you in life too. Okay?”

The heavy weight on your chest lifts and you let out a soft sob. “Okay.” You cry. Why did I doubt him? You think to yourself. Eddie leans down and kisses you softly. His lips are soft and so sweet. Your tears run down your face causing the kiss to have a subtle trace of salt in Eddie’s sweet reassurance.

“I can’t wait to show you a life with me without fear. This is the version of me that you always deserved.” Eddie says brushing your hair back from your face.

You shake your head, “I want every version of you. Don’t say that.”

He smiles and nods, trying to believe your words. You think about the time when Eddie told you about his life before The Upside Down and how you would have liked him more if you'd met him back then. You want to laugh or scream because he is everything to you, every version in every parallel universe. He is who he was before and who he is now, and you think he must not realize that he can be both. He’s deserving of love before and after his trauma.

Something you need to remind yourself too…

Eddie breaks your thoughts by kissing you again and then guiding you out of the room. He walks before you as if he’s your shield against a world that you no longer find familiar. You think to yourself that as long as you’re with him then you can overcome anything.

His friends greet you with smiles and welcoming hands as you and Eddie join them in the living room. A hot pizza on the counter almost sends you to your knees since you’ve lived off chips and beef jerky for months.

Maybe living isn’t as bad as you think.

“Holy shit it feels good to be home,” Eddie says as he walks around his trailer —his home. A home that he thought was destroyed. He doesn’t know how it’s still standing, but El told him to not ask questions and he didn’t. He has a huge smile on his face as he tells you about his home and about his Uncle Wayne, who Eddie thinks is not here because of work.

Eddie's friends dropped you both off ten minutes ago knowing it’s time for you both to rest before meeting up again tomorrow. You really like his friends and it’s nice to think that eventually, they will be your friends too. Your life here is already starting to slowly rebuild.

You watch Eddie’s fingers run over the fabric of a jacket hanging over the back of the couch. His smile is softer and his eyes are blinking back tears. “I thought I’d never see him again.” He says quietly while looking at Wayne’s jacket.

You come up behind him and hug him. “Welcome home.”

He spins to face you and pulls you into him. “Welcome home to you too.”

Your chest warms at the thought of a place to call home. “What do you think Wayne will think of this?”

“He will probably think you’re my girlfriend that I ran off with for months and he will be pissed.” He smiles at that. “I don’t know honestly. I haven’t figured out what I’m going to tell him, but I think at the end of the day it won’t matter. He will be happy I’m home and he will welcome you without hesitation because that’s what he does.”

You smile at that and rest your head on Eddie’s chest. You notice a huge wall filled with coffee mugs. “So, is that his or your collection?” You point to the shelves and giggle.

Eddie laughs, “Uncle Wayne and those damn mugs.” His brows furrowed as he looked closer. “Wow, he’s added more since I’ve been gone.” That makes Eddie laugh harder. “Jesus H. Christ.” And you both laugh.

“Come on, let’s go rest,” Eddie says.

“Do you think we could shower first?”

Eddie’s eyes go wide with excitement. “A hot shower! Oh, hell yeah.” He grabs your hand and rushes to the bathroom.

For months you and Eddie bathed in pools and ponds. Showers were nonexistent in The Upside Down since there was no running water, so knowing you now have access to showers again feels like a gift from the gods.

You step into the shower with Eddie’s help, his hand outstretched. It’s not unusual to be this close to Eddie. You have been doing everything with him for months and this is normal. Showering with him feels more right than without him. Maybe trauma bonding was a thing?

A moan rolls off Eddie’s lips as the water runs down his back. You smile at the sound and the flutter that fills your stomach. He guides you under the water, making sure you get more coverage than he does.

“Oh my god,” you say as you close your eyes. The warm water spills over your body and it’s the most wonderful feeling. You wonder how you ever lived without a hot shower.

“Feels so fucking good, right?” Eddie says with a laugh.

“So good. Better than sex.”

Eddie lifts a brow, “Better than sex, huh?”

You laugh, “Isn’t that what people say?”

Eddie laughs with you, his wet hair plastered to his face. His hair is longer with the curls stretched in the water. God, he was beautiful. You touch his face and he relaxes, his smile softening. The water runs over your bodies as you stare at each other. Eddie's hands grab your waist and pull you close.

“I love you,” he says quickly. “I should have said that before when I thought it was all ending. I’m upset that I didn’t. But I really believe that it wasn’t over. I was going to find you after, you know…in the afterlife or whatever is after this. I knew it wasn’t the end for us. I thought that if I held onto those words it was a promise that I’d find you and deliver them in our next life. And, well…shit, here we are. I guess this is our after, so yeah. I love you. I loved you before death and now. Whatever this is.”

Your heart bursts under the weight of his words. You can’t tell if you’re crying or if it’s the water running down your face, but all you can focus on is the warmth swelling within your chest.

“I love you so much.” You say. It’s pathetic. Five words that don’t even carry the weight of what you feel. You crash your lips onto his. You wrap your arms around him, needing him as close as possible. Fuck, you want to crawl into his chest and make a damn home. You want to bath in those words, have them embedded into your skin. You’ve never felt this way before. It’s a craving and a need that can’t be met. You love him so much that it hurts to breathe and once you can catch a breath all you want is to inhale him.

Eddie’s fingers dig into your skin, almost a reflection of the need burning within you. His kiss is desperate and hungry. He pressed you against the shower wall and you let out a gasp that he cut off with his mouth on yours. He’s hard against you and your body aches in answer. There is no foreplay besides his love confession. It’s only a hungry desire for one another and the need to be as close as possible in every way.

Eddie lifts you by the hips and you tighten your grip around his neck. You’re both out of breath from the kiss and the urgency of it all. You let out a whimper as he lowers you down on him. He fills you so perfectly.

“Fuck,” Eddie moans.

The water spills over you both as you move together. You are pinned between the shower wall and Eddie’s body, exactly where you want to be.

Eddie kisses your neck as he thrusts into you. “Are you sure it’s better than sex?”

You laugh, which ends in a moan as Eddie pushes deeper into you. “Maybe I was wrong.”

His hand moves up and grabs your breast, massaging it softly as he sucks on your neck. He’s everywhere, all you can feel and taste. After everything you’ve been through, he feels like your prize. You know that you’d go through it all a million times if you ended up being exactly where you are now.

After some time of moving together in perfect bliss, Eddie slams his hand on the shower wall above your head as his body starts to shake. He drops his head back as his breath quickens. You feel the warm wave build within your body and you grab Eddie’s face in your hands. He meets your gaze as he barely hangs on.

“Together,” you say, repeating his words from before.

You both reach your climax, clinging onto each other and trying to stay upright as the water washes away the desire that burned inside you both. You smile and laugh softly as you help each other regain stability.

Eddie plants a kiss on your bare shoulder before running his fingers through your soapy hair. There is something symbolic about Eddie washing your hair as if he is washing away every bad thing that ever happened in the past months. It feels right that he is the one doing it because even though you were dirty on the outside he made you feel brand new on the inside before the world burned, well…the world that brought you two together.

He massages your scalp before gently guiding you under the water. You close your eyes and focus on his fingers running through your hair as he washes away the soap. This must be what Heaven feels like, not the washing of your hair, but the touch of Eddie Munson.

After helping Eddie wash his hair and both of you washing your bodies, you find yourself wearing Eddie’s pajamas and crawling into his bed.

“Your room is exactly what I pictured.” You say as you rest your head on the pillow. A real pillow, one that’s not covered in dust. It’s the little things that make you happy now.

“Oh really?” Eddie smirks as he walks around his room, taking it all in. He stops and looks up to where a guitar is hanging. His smile grows and brushes his fingers over the strings. “Sorry I’m late, sweetheart.” He whispered.

The sound of the strings fills the room and you lay in bed admiring him in his space. It’s comforting to be surrounded by all things Eddie. There is no fear here, only him.

Eddie turns off the lamp and crawls into bed. He lets out a sigh of relief that he’s probably been holding since he left his life. It doesn’t take long for your eyes to adjust to the darkness and find his face. He silently smiles at you saying he sees you too.

“Come here,” he says. You scoot closer to him and he pulls you into him, closing the space between you both. You both lay in each other's arms and everything feels right. The silence grows and it’s comfortable, something that came easy to you both from the start.

“What if this is a dream?” You ask quietly.

Eddie kisses your nose and rests his forehead against yours. His brown eyes still shine in the darkness and pierce your soul. Forever leaving a mark.

He smiles before saying, “Then I’m happy to know that through every life, every parallel universe and even in our dreams we are together.”

Together.

You repeat his words in your mind as you slowly drift to sleep with a smile on your face and the promise of tomorrow.

Taglist:

@eddiemunson4life420 @gabrielsgoldengrace @boxofsmittens @harrys-tittie @briasnow-blog @all-time-otaku @enam31 @steveoswhore @mvnsonsblunt @theghees-blog @sweet-villain @sivt4five @sweetmarihs2 (I hope I did this right. I’ve never done a taglist.)

#eddiemunson #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you

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stomach-bugg09 · 2 years ago

Note

ahh my first request. what about one where reader is an established warrior and neteyam feels intimidated by how skilled she is but also smitten by her !! everyone probably knows he likes her and she just teases him about everything:)

summary: neteyam is introduced into a shocking world outside of his isolated childhood as the future olo’eyktan. not only does he discover the ways of his peers’ and their society, but he also discovers that he is a sucker for kind and strong.

pairing: neteyam x crush!reader

a/n: this is kind of bad, whoops, but i was kind of lacking a bit of inspo for this just because i’ve been on a [y/n] sully rampage !! it was still so fun to write regardless. hope you all enjoy !! thank you so so much for the request. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated !!

tags: @pinkhotdogsfr @wxnderingthoughts @liyahsocorro @bonnibuckets @hjkshshjkhklhkl

warnings: just some fluff, maybe language, neteyam crushing on a girl older than him, unreciprocated feelings, cuteness, so soft, neteyam being the cutest lil baby ( i’m think this is like 13 or 14 y/o neteyam bc he is the cutest softest lil baby in this ), neteyam being the baby of the group / older friends bc that’s the kind of fluff that keeps me thriving

harmless crush

neteyam always knew he grew up a little bit different than the rest of the children his age, but never did he expect it to be that different.

after the last test in which he graduated from a boy to a man, a boy to a warrior, neteyam began a new chapter. and, after the amount of vigorous training and work he’d been through to reach that new point, he was not at all ready for the social shock that he went through.

what they don’t tell you when you’re raised in isolation as the future olo’eyktan with your own personal training sessions, time spent at war meetings with your father, time spent meeting thousands of different na’vi from clans around pandora, is that when you get to finally start living your own adult life everybody else knows each other already.

not only do they just know each other—oh, no. they grew up together. they have been acquainted, if not friends, since the moment they were put into daycare as children.

neteyam had no history of that. with anyone. except maybe his siblings, but it wasn’t the same. plus, they were far too annoying to make them his only friends.

it wasn’t like neteyam didn’t know anybody. he knew everybody’s name, a detail that’d been drilled into his head by neytiri when he was young, and they most definitely knew of him. he was pleasant enough to greet everybody as he wandered through high camp with his family, and they would always smile broadly when they waved back. but, he never had any connection with anyone past acquainted.

for a while, he was okay with that. it was just how his life happened to be, there was not much to it other than that. but, after he gained an ikran and the title as an official omaticayan warrior, suddenly his loneliness was his biggest insecurity.

as a result, he made it his goal to make friends. soon enough, he was quite familiar with all of the warriors his age, but there were only a few of them.

what truly introduced him to the social world of the omaticaya was a, well… a girl. and her name was [y/n].

[y/n] was arguably neteyam’s favorite of the warriors he’d met. not only was she kind, but she was strong. intimidatingly so! everything she did impressed him, and he wasn’t the only one. oh my… plenty of males had their eyes on [y/n], but they were far too scared of rejection, especially rejection from a girl like her, to even attempt.

and, unfortunately for neteyam, she was three years older than him.

it had just been a random day where neteyam was stuck on another round of patrol with the most annoying males on the entire planet of pandora. and he was more than justified in making that claim! trust me when i say everybody hated these boys.

at the sight of neteyam’s extremely unhappy and annoyed face while he was waiting for the three na’vi to board their ikrans, [y/n] couldn’t help but laugh from a distance. she was busy sitting with her friends—she had to appreciate her day off, after all! they only came so often.

and yet, despite how rare a day off was, [y/n] couldn’t help but feel sympathetic as the younger boy yelled at the three na’vi for the fiftieth time.

“what are you doing?” her friend questioned, eyes skeptical.

[y/n] scratched the back of her neck. “saving mini-toruk makto’s life. and hopefully making a friend.”

neteyam was far too preoccupied with the chaos of the three na’vi to even notice as [y/n], the girl he’d been crushing on for months even before becoming a warrior, was walking over.

“boys.” her voice was sharp and strong, gaining the attention of all four boys. she widened her eyes at the trio of culprits, her nimble fingers pointing at them. “you guys go do something actually helpful for once. i am going to help neteyam.”

thanks to the fear that the younger warriors held towards [y/n] and her impressive abilities, all three boys didn’t even question it. they knew better. neteyam watched in disbelief as they walked away, whispering to each other and looking back on occasion.

“thanks for that,” he chuckled, resting his hand on the back of his neck. he cursed himself silently as soon as his face grew hot when she locked eyes with him.

she smiled. “hey, no worries. they’re pains in the ass.”

“you can say that again.” neteyam ran his fangs over his bottom lip.

and just like that, neteyam was not only introduced into a world beyond his knowledge, but he was introduced to a world in which he got to hang around the older na’vi. they were, like… actually treated like adults, too! how wild was that?

the next few months neteyam spent learning from [y/n] and her friends, a group of about six or seven. they were quick to adopt him, as if the he were baby of the group, a role that neteyam had never experienced before due to his natural position as the oldest sibling. all day he would act as the youngest of his peers, babied by all the girls and teased by all the guys, and when he returned home at the end of it all, he would return to the normalcy of being the big brother to all of his siblings.

every single one of [y/n]’s friends quickly became his friends. they loved him for the little responsible golden child that he was, and as soon as [y/n] introduced him to them all, they recognized the major oldest child trauma he held. so, they did what they could to just let him relax, be whoever he wanted to be when he was away from home.

at first, neytiri and jake were more than skeptical, but upon discovering that [y/n], one of the strongest young warriors of the clan, their worry dissipated. it completely faded away one day after they witnessed the care and love that the group held for their oldest baby.

after a few weeks of knowing neteyam, every single one of them had noticed his infatuation with [y/n]. they all understood—every male na’vi of their age group had a crush on her at one point. it was hard not to, considering the fact that, not only was she skilled in the ways of battle, but she was kind. and caring. and all of those attributes were what brought neteyam into his position in the first place.

it often made the older kids laugh ( although never in a condescending way ) the way that he followed her around. he was completely and utterly smitten with her. and it was adorable. a fourteen year old kid completely in love with a seventeen year old? it was hard not to think of it as such.

[y/n] was well aware of his crush, and honestly… she was honored. the toruk makto’s child, and she was his first real crush? what’s not to love about it?

unfortunately for both parties, an inevitable day was just around the corner in which neteyam would have to acknowledge that he was whipped for the older girl, and [y/n] would have to feel so extremely guilty while she rejected him.

that day came in early spring.

early spring was commonly considered their harvest season. when it was time for harvest, it meant they were low in their number of warriors because so many people were helping gather the surplus of food. they were vulnerable.

unfortunately, the sky-people knew of their vulnerabilities and, as a good military does, exploited them. attacks were common, eventually going from a weekly to a daily. all hands were on deck.

they were preparing for another attack, and [y/n] and her friends were scattered as they each grabbed weapons, ammo, tools, and readied their ikrans for the battle. neteyam was assigned scout duty, as much as the thought saddened him. despite his improvement in the past few months, his father still did not trust him and his abilities on the battlefield.

his stomach twisted as he watched the group of older warriors launch their ikrans off of the cliff, catching air underneath their wings as they soared towards battle. [y/n] looked particularly pretty with the war makeup painted on her face, bow lifted in the air as a battle cry thrust itself from her throat.

neteyam had a bird's eye view from where he watched, his ikran flapping its wings and staying put in the sky. his father’d made it clear that neteyam would be the last to leave, and if any danger were to get anywhere near him, he would retreat. “that’s an order.”

and maybe it was the fact that he’d been listening to his father for his entire life, or maybe it was the fact that he just wanted [y/n] to be impressed with him, but as soon as those boys, those three annoying boys, taunted him by saying, “you? stuck on scout duty?” he felt a lie leave his throat.

“no.” his tone was far more confident than he actually felt. “i am just the last line of defense. i am making my way up the ranks!”

as soon as his feet found the battlefield, he immediately regret his decisions. it was a blood bath, and although he’d seen it a multitude of times from where he flew in the sky, never did he imagine it to be like that.

suddenly, neteyam could not hear. could not see. could not think. he thought he was prepared, he truly did, but he was far from it. he was still just a boy. a boy they called a “man” even though nobody treated him as such. a boy that only felt safe and confident under the wing of his older friends. a boy that could die at any second.

but she would not let him die.

neteyam’s heart shot to his throat as two ikran legs swooped from above him, the talons carefully lifting him off of the ground as bullets barely missed his body. the young warrior clutched the feet of the creature desperately, unable to make any sound of terror and wind blew directly into his face.

when his feet found solid earth again, neteyam fell to the ground, trying to catch his breath.

“what were you doing?” her voice was stern, more stern than he had ever heard her before.

neteyam sputtered for words, stopping when [y/n] held a hand up. anger was evident in every feature.

“i do not want to know.” she let out a breath, turning around to watch the battlegrounds. just as she was about to lift off, join the fight again, the horn blew. the battle was over. she cursed quietly before turning back to the boy. “what was going through your head, boy?”

neteyam swallowed, still sitting on the dirty ground, his weight leaned back against his arms. “i…” he cleared his throat. “i don’t know!” tears pricked the boy’s eyes. “it’s just that… you are all so mature and so old and people actually take you seriously! i just thought, maybe if i were to fight, that maybe people would actually treat me like a man.”

“oh, neteyam.” she shook her head. “your time will come—”

“that is not all, [y/n].” she furrowed her eyebrow muscles in confusion. “i also thought, well.. i don’t know. maybe you would take me more seriously. maybe you would see me as more than just a kid, maybe as…” he couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence.

her eyes grew soft. “oh, neteyam.” before he knew it, she was on the ground with him, holding his body in her arms. “your time will come, prrnen,” she whispered, using his nickname the group had given him. [y/n] sighed, letting go and turning to look directly at him. “i will make you two promises, are you listening?”

neteyam nodded, locking eyes with [y/n].

“one day you will be someone that they, not only take seriously, but respect. and with respect, will come… well, girls.” she giggled, causing neteyam to flush indigo. “and you know what? come back to me in four years time, alright? come back to me in four years, and if we can still have the same exact conversation then maybe i will consider.” she smiled, sending him a teasing wink. “but trust me when i say that you will be a valued warrior. and a valued chick magnet.”

“[y/n]!” he groaned, a smile lighting up his face.

she only laughed. “now, how about we get back to camp and keep this a secret from your father. for my sake, and especially your’s.”

“i couldn’t agree more.”

#avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #neteyam sully #neteyam x you #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x reader #neteyam #neteyam x platonic!reader #platonic!reader #avatar x reader #avatar x platonic!reader #crush!reader

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tieronecrush · 1 year ago

Text

hot & heavy

chapter ten: a hidden gem, my own goldmine

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 10k

warnings: NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is 7 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), polite southern manners, feeling familial and self-pressure, ESTABLISHED relationship FINALLY, spanish cause joel is latino, fingering, unprotected p in v, dirty talkkk king joel miller, soft (and soft dom) joel, possessive joel, mentions of depression diagnosis and symptoms, struggling with self, discussion of co-parenting, angst, MAJOR doubt! and a slumber party! yay!

a/n: thank you as always to the bestie/cousin/sister wife/sweet, sweet gf @northernbluess for beta-reading this chapter, seriously i can't write without you so you're stuck with me. also this chapter is a little heavier in spanish then before, so if there are any corrections needed, please comment or message me! i went through multiple translations to try to find the best/most common, but things are bound to slip through the cracks.

Joel’s been catching up with some chores around the house this evening after Sarah’s gone to bed: dishes are washed and put away, counters wiped down and floors mopped. He reset the living room after he put the laundry in the dryer, settling onto the couch with a long sigh. Hands rub at his tired eyes, muscles aching for his bed but he is determined to stay up until you text him that you’re back at your friend’s house safe.

A few of your friends from college ended up with jobs in Austin, and tonight you’d all arranged to go out downtown. You had, sweetly, invited Joel to tag along but when you mentioned that the only other guys there would be boyfriends of your friends that were your age, he politely declined. Well, he used his daughter as an excuse because he didn’t want to admit that he was a little insecure about the age difference, even still.

It’s not even a large one, you’re twenty-five and he’s thirty-three, but with a nearly ten year old kid and his own business, he’s willing to bet he’s in a much different place in life than your friends' significant others. And if there isn’t a lot of common ground, Joel knows he’s not the most social or conversational.

Resting his eyes, his head rolls back onto the couch while the TV drones on about the latest Astros game. A short buzz from his phone in his pocket peels his eyes open, yawning quietly as he fishes the device out and flips it open.

FROM: Mariposa

Cn u pcik me up pLs????

While deciphering your drunk text, another couple are delivered and he keys down to see them as he chuckles at the antics.

I miiss u

Eveynoe is w their BFs n I wnt mine

Plesaseeeeeee J

Before he can type a response to you, an incoming call blocks out his screen, his thumb hitting the accept button quickly and bringing the phone to his ear.

“Feelin’ alright, Mari?”

A hiccup on the other line makes him laugh quietly again, your voice coming in over the music and people in the background, “No, not alright. M’sad.”

“Why’re you sad, sweet girl?”

“Cause you’re not here. Every—everybody’s…No I didn’t want a vodka water, gross! I wanna vodka soooooda with lime…Oops, sorry J. What was I saying?” A giggle from your end pulls a smile on his face, only slightly worried at your level of intoxication.

“You were telling me why you’re sad.”

“Right! M’sad cause all my friends have got their boy—” One hiccup. “Boyfriends here. And you’re aaaallllll the way at home.” Another hiccup. “I wanna be home with you.”

“I see. Well, I don’t want you to be sad, darlin’, so m’gonna come pick you up. How’s that sound?”

He hears a gasp into the phone and your voice gets quieter, imagining you holding the phone or turning your head away to a nearby friend.

“He’s coming! Jus’ to pick me up though, we gotta get back for Sar—Sarah…Yeah, she’s so cute…Well, yeah duh, he’s a DILF…I mean, to me I guess he’d be a DIAF…‘Dad I Am Fucking’…Oh, shit!” There’s a rustling as he laughs to himself overhearing your conversation, a smug smile on his face from you bragging to your friends. “M’sorry, J, god I totally forgot I was on the phone!” You punctuate your sentence with an incredulous laugh before quieting down to hear Joel.

“That’s alright, Mari. M’gonna drop Sarah with Tommy and then come and get you, okay? Can you tell me where you are?” Joel is already standing from the couch, grabbing his keys from the entryway before making his way upstairs to get Sarah into the car.

“Ummm…One sec!” The line rustles again while he stands at the top of the stairs. “Okay, we’re at that place on 11th, Nickel City.”

“Yeah, I know where that is, sweetheart. Be there soon, okay?”

“Okay. Tha—” One last hiccup. “—nks, J.”

“Anytime, amor. Anytime.”

With Sarah dropped off at Tommy’s, Joel goes into town to pick you up. It takes another twenty minutes from Tommy’s place, finding a parking spot not too far from the bar. He slips in the door and starts to comb his eyes over the crowd, most people stepping out of his way from his intimidating frame while he weaves through the masses.

Spotting you off to the side at a high-top table, some friends he recognizes from your photos dotted around the surface as well. You’re wrapped up in a conversation with the person next to you while you sit on a stool, Joel’s eyes finally landing on the person you’re talking to. It’s another man, about his height, maybe a few inches shorter. He’s got light hair, a clean-cut look with some fancy shirt on. Clearly, the guy is flirting with you, standing closer and leaning an arm around the back of your chair. Knowing how drunk you sounded over the phone, it occurs to him that you likely don’t even realize this guy’s body language, a primal possessiveness taking over his judgment.

He’s waited years for you. There’s no way in hell he isn’t putting on a show for this guy to send him a message.

Joel rolls his shoulders back, chest raising with the corrective posture. He saunters over to the table, politely smiling and waving as your friends must recognize him and welcome him to the group. He walks right up to the other side of your chair, placing a hand on your lower back and brushing against the skin exposed by the tank top you’re wearing.

A small gasp exhales from you with the surprise contact, turning your head and beaming when you see him. The look makes the wings of his butterfly flap faster, beating in time with his heartbeat.

“You’re here! M’so happy to see you.” He matches your smile before he is crushed in a hug, your arms around his neck. Unraveling from each other, you turn back toward the other man, before one of your other friends comes over to tell you something, pulling you away but still within arm’s length for Joel to keep his hand on you.

Joel reaches his hand out toward the man, “Nice to meet you…”

“Colton.”

“Nice to meet you, Colton. Are you one of the college friends?”

Colton gives a weak handshake to Joel, shaking his head with a laugh, “No, actually, never met any of ‘em until tonight. Well, except Taylor. M’relatively new to town, met Taylor through work, so you know how it is. Trying to make some connections.”

Joel has to hold back his eye roll, annoyance clear on his face at the skirting around that this Colton is doing. Joel’s heard it before from Tommy — going up to a girl and using the ‘new in town’ line to get a conversation started and to hopefully get them to leave with you to ‘show you around’.

Mine. You’re mine, he repeats to himself, the jealousy pumping in his veins.

“So’re you one of the college friends? Or an Austin friend?” Colton makes polite conversation while you turn in Joel’s arm and wrap your own around his back. Tugging on his t-shirt the fingers of one of your hands slip under the material and skim across his skin. Joel clears his throat, chuckling dryly as he keeps his gaze on Colton.

“Uh, not quite. M’the boyfriend.” His head nods to his side to you, a tight, smug smile on his face as he watches the gears in Colton’s head turn.

It’s not happening for him tonight. Or ever.

“Oh shit! You must be Joel! We’ve been waiting for you. I’ve just been making sure she’s had some water and didn’t wander off before you got here. She’s been talkin’ about you all night, made me think about how many times I’ve drunkenly ranted about my girlfriend.”

“Your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, Taylor’s my girlfriend — she’s the one with blonde hair right across the table.” Colton beams down the way as Taylor makes eye contact with him, waving to the woman as she smiles back at him.

The man is a golden retriever. And Joel thought he was some douchebag trying to hook up with his girlfriend. Joel opens his mouth to apologize for his cold behavior, but before he can your head pops up from his chest, grabbing his attention. Hands at his back scratch your nails against his skin, humming contently as you press a sloppy kiss to his jaw.

Colton considers his duties relieved and goes to find his girlfriend before Joel can thank him, leaving the two of you at the end of the table. Joel pulls his chin in to look down at you, smiling softly and moving a hand to the back of your neck.

“You alright, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, jus’ happy you’re here. Missed you.”

Joe presses a kiss to your forehead and you hum again, swaying sleepily in his arms. “M’glad you called me, Mariposa.”

“Can we go home now please?”

“Yeah, Mari, ‘course we can. You want me to bring you to your house?” His hands move to your sides, running up and down against the fabric of your tank top. You hook your arms around his neck and shake your head, a tiny “humpf” accompanying it.

“No, home.”

“My house?”

“Yes! Home. Wanna sleep in your bed, s’comfier than mine.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I can bring you home.”

A warm stirring is felt in his chest, steadying you in your stance and keeping an arm around your waist. You say goodbye to your friends, all of them waving to you both as Joel steers you through the bar and to his truck outside.

Joel calls Tommy on the way home, his brother telling him that Sarah’s out cold and he can bring her back in the morning when she wakes up. He presses for an answer about why Joel had to drop Sarah off, but Joel ignores Tommy’s question again and hangs up.

Safely back at his house, he helps you out of the truck and inside, walking behind you on the stairs as you stumble. It’s like a baby deer learning to walk — he’s never seen you this drunk, tipsy, sure, but never at this level. A smile crosses his face as he imagines a moment like this in the future with you, maybe after a night out for the two of you or maybe even after your wedding.

Your voice pulls him out of his thoughts, tripping over your feet at the landing and recovering on your own. His hand hovers at your back, ready to break your fall if it happens.

“I’m alright, m’alright. Jus’ tripped a lil’.”

To be safe, Joel holds your hips the rest of the way up and into his room, sitting you on the edge of the mattress and gathering a t-shirt from his drawers for you to wear to bed.

“No, I want the funny one that I like,” you whine, waving a hand back at his dresser. Joel shakes his head to himself, chuckling about the fact that you still have a preference for sleep attire.

He grabs the shirt you’re talking about, a worn and washed one that he got as a joke from Tommy a few years ago. He normally wears it to sleep himself, if he wears one, or around the house if he knows he won’t be going out. It’s faded black now, yellow text that reads ‘I do know it all…I just can’t remember it all at once.’

Upon finding it in his drawer last week, you laughed hysterically and made him put it on for a Polaroid. You’ve also requested it every time you’ve stayed over since.

In front of you again, with the correct shirt, he kneels down and pats the outside of your thighs. “Can you stand for me, sweetheart?”

Using his shoulders as support, you stand on sea legs, swaying back and forth as he looks up at you. “Can I take off your skirt, darlin’?”

“Yeah, you can, cutie.” You giggle and sway wider, playing with the curls at the top of his head, turning his head to your will as he unbuttons and unzips your denim skirt. “You got some grays mixed in here, mister.”

“M’getting old, Mari. No surprises there.” He chuckles and helps you lift each foot to step out of the tube of material completely, rubbing a hand on your calf before he stands in front of you again. He’s faced with a pout, brows knit together in anger.

“You’re not getting old. You’re literally in your thirties. Not old.”

“Say that to the gray hairs then, sweetheart.”

“Gray hairs—“ Hiccup. “Mean nothing ‘sides the fact that you’re gonna be a silver fox. My silver fox.”

A content smile, closed lips, pulls the corners of your mouth up. Heavy eyelids cover your irises halfway, the sight of you so drunkenly drowsy is utterly adorable to him. Fingers grip the bottom of your tank top, kissing your forehead.

“Can I take off your shirt?”

“Take it all off, bay-beeee.” Your swaying causes you to stumble again, Joel catching you before you fall back onto the bed. Once you’re steady, your own hands slip under his shirt, running over his tummy while you press sloppy kisses into his neck. “Mm, want you so bad, J.”

“I love you, darlin’, and you know I want you all the time, but not tonight. You need to get some water and go to sleep. For a while.” A defeated sigh blows against his skin, rocking back on your heels and Joel holding your weight to bring you to stand straight again. “Arms up, baby.”

You comply without another ask, lifting your arms as if they’re heavy weights, allowing Joel to tug the material over your head. With a slight slap sound, your arms drop back against your sides. Joel takes off your bra for you and gets you into his t-shirt, giving you a small kiss. He walks you to your side of the bed, tucking you in.

“Be right back, sweet girl. Gonna get you some water and then you can go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay.” You sigh, nesting into the sheets and duvet. Your eyes close, soft hums filling the room as he runs downstairs, filling a glass of water and grabbing ibuprofen to leave at your bedside for the morning.

Returning to his room, he coaxed you to sit up, having you drink half the glass. He changes for bed himself, stripping down to his boxers and slipping under the covers, pulling you closer with an arm around your waist.

“G’night, Mari.”

“Mm, night, J. Thanks for coming to get me and bringing me home. Like sleeping next to you lots more than a sleepover with my friends…”

“Like sleeping next to you too, Mari. Missed you all night. M’glad you’re home now.”

“Nightie night.”

“Nightie night, sweet girl. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.” He pinches your side playfully, breathing a laugh out of his nose at your yelp and squeezing you closer. With a kiss to the top of your head, he lulls you to sleep with his fingertips running up and down your spine, thoughts going right back to those flash images of a future with you.

“Love you, Mariposa.”

There’s an ache all over your body, eyes too sore and crusted over with sleep to peel open when you first wake up. Light peeks through the curtains, shining onto the bed and directly at your face, making you groan into the pillow and attempt to roll over.

Unfortunately, your body is telling you to get up, find water or pain meds or some coffee, you really wouldn’t be all too picky at this moment. Rolling over onto your back, you reach out to your side and feel bedding underneath your hand, pouting to yourself when you finally open your eyes and see Joel’s gone. As you sit up, you can hear the shower turn on in the bathroom attached to his bedroom and you can hear some quiet humming from the other side of the door. A smile crosses your face, the idea of a shower nestling itself in your mind and feeling like it would be the only thing to get rid of all of this hangover.

On the nightstand next to you, there are two burgundy-colored tablets and a half glass of water, vaguely remembering last night when Joel made you drink the other half before going to sleep. Washing down the ibuprofen with the entirety of the water, you start to recount what you can recall from the night before, cringing internally when you get to the point that Joel showed up to pick you up. You don’t really remember getting home, but looking down at the t-shirt you’re wearing clues you in that Joel must have done most of the work to get you into bed.

Slipping out from under the duvet, you set the empty glass back down and slink over to the bathroom, twisting the knob and opening the door. The squeak of the hinges breaks your sneaking attempt and Joel’s humming stops.

He speaks up over the sound of the water, “Mariposa? That you?”

“I sure hope no one else would be sneaking into the bathroom this morning. Unless you have another drunk girlfriend you had to pick up from the bar,” you laugh at the self-deprecating joke, picking up your toothbrush and squeezing out a dollop of toothpaste to clean your teeth. And to get rid of the taste of tequila lingering on your tongue.

The shower curtain slides back a bit and Joel’s head sticks out, goofy grin on his face with curls hanging on his forehead. “Nah, just got the one. How’re feeling this morning?”

“Like I got beat up by a bunch of vodka sodas and a couple of tequila shots.” Your words are muffled around the foamy toothpaste, leaning back against the counter facing him.

“Yeah, you were pretty drunk, darlin’. But it was honestly cute, you’re a funny drunk.”

Turning back toward the sink, you fold over the sink to spit out and rinse your mouth out, groaning softly, “God, please tell me I didn’t do or say anything embarrassing.”

“Nothin’ too bad, but there were some things that I will be committing to memory,” Joel laughs and winks, the noise getting louder as you groan again and roll your head back.

“This is the worst part about getting drunk. People holding stupid shit you said over your head.” Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you look at Joel across the few feet separating you and watch him shake his head and grin sweetly.

“I’ll tell you what you said, sweetheart, but I think you’re in too physically fragile of a state right now.”

“God, you are right about that,” you sigh and shake your head, propping yourself off the counter you were leaning on, crossing the tiles to be only a foot from Joel’s face, “Can I join you? A shower sounds like exactly what I need right now.”

He nods quickly, halfway through the question and you chuckle at the antics, pulling the t-shirt over your head and slipping off your panties to leave both in a heap with Joel’s clothes. He opens the curtain for you and steps back toward the other wall while you close the curtain and drag yourself under the stream of water.

A sigh relaxes your chest and shoulders, closing your eyes as you let the warm water run all over you. Joel’s hands brush across your skin, the feeling of his work-worn palms sending a tingle of excitement down your skin and chilling your body even under the hot water. His thumbs cup under your breasts while the rest of his fingers splay out on your ribcage, tips of them toward your back as he holds you closer to him.

“Mm, you’re so beautiful, d’you know that, mi Mariposa? La mujer más hermosa del mundo (The most beautiful woman in the world),” Joel mumbles against your skin when he nestles into the crook of your neck, curving his back to fit with you perfectly. His hands wander from your ribs, circling around your back and drifting down to the swell of your ass where they settle with a gentle squeeze.

“I think I’m getting better at Spanish 'cause I understood that. And it was very sweet, thank you, J. I think you’re the most beautiful man in the world.” You giggle and feel Joel exhale a chuckle against your neck, peppering slow and spaced kisses along your shoulder.

“You also told me something else about what you think of me last night. Well, it was to one of your friends but you were still on the phone with me so I heard,” he stretches to full height again with a smug smirk, squeezing your ass again as you sigh.

“Oh god, what did I say to you? Did I feed your massive ego?” you tease, bringing your hands up to his shoulders and lightly scratching your nails against his skin.

“I learned that I am a DILF last night. Or according to you, I am a DIAF to you. Dad I Am Fucking.” He can barely get the last sentence out around his loud laugh, your embarrassed reaction of wide eyes and jaw dropped egging him on more.

“Stop, I cannot believe I said that. And that you heard! You’re never going to let me live that down.”

“Not a chance, sweetheart. Not a chance,” Joel can’t wipe the giggly smile off of his face as he continues, “Oh, and you also were definitely really into me getting you into pajamas last night. I asked if I could take off your shirt and you said ‘Take it all off bay-beeee’. Which was very tempting.”

“Oh my god, if you don’t stop telling me all of this right now, I won’t take anything off for you again.” It’s a thinly veiled threat, both of you know it holds zero weight.

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop.”

“Thank you,” you breathe out as you turn toward the shelf in the shower, reaching for the body wash before Joel intercepts your hand, holding it in his and lowering it to your side. He presses his chest to your back, the contact also nudging his hard cock into the flesh of your ass.

“Y’know, I woke up this morning after you were all over me last night with a fucking hard on. Aching for you. And then you come in here and ask to join me in the shower, made it come right back…” he leans down, kissing your shoulder, up your neck and to your ear, “D’you still want me, Mariposa? Hm?”

One of his hands drifts to your inner thighs, coaxing your legs apart and swiping two fingers from your entrance to your clit. Your arousal coats his fingers, a quiet whimper leaving your lips in an exhale, eyes closing and head rolling back against his shoulder.

“You still want me, mi dulzura? Feels like you do,” his lips are against your ear, voice low and gravelly, and he slowly circles your clit as you continue to whimper and writhe in his arms, “Sounds like you do, too, mi amor. Y’know, we have the whole house to ourselves, Mariposa. I want you to be loud for me while I touch you. Understand?”

Lost in the sparks of pleasure slowly building, your words get caught in your throat as one of your arms reaches up to wrap around to the nape of his neck. At the lack of response to his question, Joel pinches your clit before pulling his hand away.

“No, no, no, please. I understand. I’ll be loud for you, J. Please touch me…”

You grip the curls at the back of his head, biting your lip and opening your eyes again to look at Joel’s head at your side. His hand comes back, his thumb rubbing your clit while his middle finger sinks into you until the first knuckle. He keeps his eyes on your face, slowly working the finger in and out of your cunt, never giving it to you fully.

“Fuck, don’t tease me, Joel. Please, pretty please, gimme more.”

A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest, his nose nudging at your cheek to turn your head straight toward the tiled wall, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your jaw.

“You want more, Mariposa?”

“Pleasepleaseplease.”

“Mm, and are you going to be good? Give me all your pretty sounds that I love?” Joel pushes his entire middle finger into you now, holding it there, “If I give you what you want, you gotta be loud for me, pretty girl.”

“I will, I promise.” You wiggle your hips to get any more friction building, grumbling in frustration when Joel’s other arm tugs your hips back against him, strapping you to him like a seatbelt. The thumb against your clit leaves, and as you’re about to complain again, Joel adds another finger and starts to thrust them in and out frenetically, the heel of his palm rubbing the sensitive bud at the front of your folds.

A sinful moan rolls from your gut, bouncing off of the walls of the shower and drowning out the sound of the water for a few seconds. You can feel Joel’s satisfied smirk against your skin, his mouth dipping to the crook of your neck to suck at your pulse point and leave his mark. His hand continues its rapid pace, your legs bending as they start to give out the closer you reach to the edge. To attempt to hold your weight, you lean your arms against the tiles, feeling yourself being held up by Joel’s arm tightened across your hips.

“Fuck, Joel, feels so fucking good. Oh!” Your voice pitches up when his fingers graze that spot inside your walls, the sound catching in your throat. Joel pushes deeper with his fingers, hooking them to find that same spot and petting against it with small strokes of his fingers. The sounds coming from you are uncontrollable, head falling back against his shoulder as a mess of his name, lustful whimpers and whines, and wanton moans echo in the steaming shower.

“That’s it, pretty girl, I can feel how close you are. Nearly squeezing my fingers out of ya.” Joel’s small groan vibrates against your shoulder, his hard-on being pressed into your back and leaking pre-cum. You can feel yourself clench around his fingers, the edges of your vision blurring as you near your peak. “Gonna come for me, Mari? Gonna be a good girl and come all over my hand so you can be ready for my cock?”

His words are the final push, pleasure oozing around his fingers and dripping down your folds, warmth spreading in your body as your nerve endings tingle. You can hear yourself moaning his name, small encouragements spoken in your ear as Joel continues to fuck his fingers into you throughout your orgasm. When you’re fully present in your body again, Joel slips his fingers out of you slowly, turning your head and kissing you deeply.

“Need you so fucking bad, Mariposa,” he says against your lips, kissing you fervently before speaking again, “Wanna bend you over and make you take my cock, and you’ll tell me how good it feels filling you up. You want it, pretty girl?”

“Need it, J. Please, I need you so bad.” You kiss him this time, pressing your hips back and grinding against his cock, the rumble of a mouth muffled into your mouth as your tongues meld together. Joel pulls away and grips your hips, turning both of you so his back is facing the stream of water.

“Hands against the wall, amor, arch your back for me—” You follow his instructions with one of his large hands skimming along your spine, folded to an angle at your hips. “That’s it, baby. So good for me.”

Joel takes his cock in his hands, teasing his tip at your entrance and earning a whine from you. A dark laugh is heard faintly from behind you, an equally quiet sigh of relief when he gives you just the tip.

“Mm, fuck, Mari. Estás tan apretado, y húmedo, y cálido. Nunca me voy a cansar de este coño. (You’re so tight, and wet, and warm. I’m never going to get tired of this pussy.)”

Before you can formulate any sort of response, despite not fully knowing what he said, Joel gives you a few more inches of his cock, stuttering out a moan from you before his hips set a rough, desperate pace. Grunts and groans, moans and whimpers fill the bathroom, your names exchanged back and forth as he fucks you from behind. His hands hold tightly onto your hips, digging in to surely form bruises to match the hickey at your collar, and to keep you from being rammed into the wall with how hard his thrusts are.

“More, fuck, gimme all of it, J. Want you to fill me up, make it hard to fucking walk straight.”

There’s a vibrating rumble that resonates in your own chest, Joel completely pulling out on the downstroke and heaving his chest up and down with shallow breaths.

“Fucking dirty girl. Mi chica sucia. Filthy, baby.” He runs his fingers down the line of your spine, still arched for him. You feel him lined up at your entrance again, whimpering for him and pressing your hips back to try to get him inside. Joel chuckles, shaking his head, “Mm, can’t get enough of my cock, can you, sweetheart? Greedy little thing.”

Your jaw drops open with a toe-curling moan, Joel’s hips thrusting his throbbing cock into your waiting cunt to fill you completely, the same rough and hard pace set as he makes you knock forward and brace against the wall with every movement.

“Take it, darlin’. Oh, fuck, aguantarla. Puedes aguantarla, mi dulzura. (Oh, fuck, take it. You can take it, my sweetness.)” Joel’s head rolls back with another guttural moan, tilting forward to watch his cock disappearing into your dripping hole. “Fuck, such a pretty pussy. And it’s all fucking mine, isn’t that right, Mariposa?”

“Y-Yes! Fuck yeah, it’s all yours, J. No one could ever fuck me like you,” you glance over your shoulder and he makes eye contact, a wide, knowing smile on his face. Your cunt clenches around his cock, his brutal pace hurtling you toward the edge. Just as you’re about to ask for that little bit more, he reads your mind and slips one of his hands around your front, errantly rubbing circles in your clit.

“Can feel you around me, Mari, know you’re close. You gonna let me fill you up with my come? Gonna milk my cock with your tight pussy?”

All you can do is nod, eyes shutting tightly as moans squeak out of you. One hand reaches back to grip his wrist as he keeps you right there at the edge.

“Say it, baby. Say it back to me and I’ll let you come. Give you just what you need.”

A deep breath brings enough air into your lungs to rasp out, “Please fill me up, Joel. Wanna milk your cock of everything you can give me, want you to be dripping out of me all day. Remind me of how only you can have my pussy.”

“Fuck yeah, that’s right, sweetheart. Such a good girl.” Joel eyes that you have a hand bracing you still, letting go of your hip as he fucks you, rubbing your clit continuously. He reaches his free hand around to your mouth, prodding his thumb at your lips and humming when you take it into your mouth and suck. After a minute, he pops out his saliva covered digit and brings it back to your body, pushing into the tight ring of muscle facing him. The sensation of stimulation at all three places barrels you to your high, pussy gripping his cock as everything tenses and pleasure rocks your body and clears your mind.

With the tightness felt in both holes around him, Joel takes one, two, three more thirsts before he’s spilling into you, ropes of come coating your walls and lazy jerks of his hips fucking it deeper into you.

After a moment, Joel pulls out of you slowly, gathering all that dribbles out of you and pushing it back inside with his fingers, causing a shudder down your spine.

The two of you come down from your peaks, the water running cold now. Still needing to clean yourselves, Joel washes your body while you shampoo and condition his hair as he folds over to gently exfoliate your legs. The tasks get swapped, Joel washing your hair while you wash his body.

Stepping out, he grabs a towel for you, wrapping it around you tightly and giving you a sweet, chaste kiss. He gets another towel for himself, both of you drying off and heading back into his bedroom to get dressed again.

You sit on the edge of his bed in your clothes from last night, one of his shirts pulled over your tank top and tucked into your skirt. As you comb your fingers over your wet hair, you look at Joel as he pulls on a pair of jeans standing next to his closet.

“Hey, I have a question for you, actually.”

“Shoot, darlin’.”

“Am I remembering correctly that last night when you came to the bar, you were acting a little jealous toward Colton? Did you think he was flirting with me or something and you got all possessive?” you giggle quietly.

Joel blushes and shakes his head with an overexaggerated eye roll. “Pffft, no. Don’t remember it happening like that, probably a bit clouded in your memory.”

Laughing more, you stand up and cross over to him, hands splayed on his soft tummy and head tilted away from him.

“Oh, sure. Sure, J, we’ll go with that if it makes you feel better.” Reaching up you give his cheek a gentle pat and wink at him, giggling faintly before he gathers you up in his arms and gives you a kiss.

“Good, 'cause it does make me feel better. ‘Sides can you blame me for getting a little jealous? We’ve waited like three years to get this right with each other, m’not letting it go.”

“Me neither, which is why you don’t ever have to be jealous cause it’s only you, baby.” You send him a wink and a grin, giving him a kiss before you both hear the front door open, Tommy’s voice echoing upstairs as he calls out for Joel. He looks down at you, biting his lip.

“I didn’t think he’d be bringing Sarah home this early. Uh, d’you mind that he’s here or should I jus’ say…” he trails off awkwardly, waiting for your thoughts on how to broach the fact that you’re over here, in Joel’s shirt and clearly have stayed the night with your wet hair from the shower.

“If you’re fine with him knowing, we can tell him. That is if Sarah hasn’t spilled the beans already.” Joel laughs faintly and nods, running his hands up and down your arms.

“That is highly possible. But guess we’ll have to find out when we head downstairs. And I’m apologizing now for any stupid shit my brother says.”

“You act like I don’t know Tommy already.”

“You don’t know Tommy as my girlfriend. He’s going to give you some shit, and he’s going to give a lot to me for keeping it from him.”

“Think I can survive Tommy Miller. Now, c’mon, get a shirt on, and let’s go. I need some coffee.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Joel descendsed the stairs ahead of you, rounding the corner into the kitchen and greeting his brother as Tommy pours himself a cup of coffee. Sarah is already at the table, cereal bowl in front her as she eats and reads her book. Joel grabs two mugs from the cabinet, earning a confused look from Tommy before you walk into the room, the confusion melting into mischief. His brother nudges at Joel’s arm and winks.

“Ah, así que esta es la razón de su aventura nocturna en la ciudad. Puedo ver por qué estabas tan desesperada por mi ayuda. (Oh, so this is the reason for your late-night adventure into the city. I can see why you were so desperate for my help.)”

Joel’s eyes roll into the back of his head, “Cállate, Tommy. Necesitaba que la llevaran a casa, así que le di una. (Shut up, Tommy. She needed a ride home, so I gave her one.)”

“Claro, claro. Un paseo. (Sure, sure. A ride.)”

“Pendejo de mierda (Fucking dumbass).”

“¿Qué? No estoy diciendo que haya algo malo en ello. Estoy feliz de ver a su hijo si significa que usted consigue algunos. Finalmente. (What? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it. I am happy to watch your child if it means you getting some. Finally.)” He laughs when Joel glares at him, Tommy crossing over to the table and covering Sarah’s ears. “Además, ella está jodidamente caliente. No sé lo que ve en un viejo como tú. (Plus, she’s fucking hot. Don’t know what she sees in an old man like you.)”

“Yo tampoco. Y deja de hablar de ella así. (I don’t either. And stop talking about her like that.)” Joel’s voice grits out the last sentence, his short fuse being tested with Tommy’s teasing this morning.

“No, realmente, ella es casi diez años más joven y podría conseguir a quien quisiera, pero ¿eres tú? Mejor empieza a apostar por los caballos, hermano. (No, really, she’s almost ten years younger and could get anybody she wanted, but it’s you? Better start betting on the horses, brother.)” His younger brother comes back to stand next to him, picking up his mug and taking a sip.

“Déjalo. (Quit it.)” Joel sends him another glare, grabbing the milk out of the fridge to add some to your cup.

“Maldita sea, tal vez tengo que contratar a una niñera para Sarah cuando está en mi casa. O tal vez la contrate yo mismo. (Damn, maybe I gotta hire a nanny for Sarah when she’s at my house. Or maybe I’ll hire her myself.)”

When Joel looks back at Tommy, he sees him eyeing you as you talk to Sarah at the table, smacking him upside the back of his head.

“Tommy, si no te callas la mierda ahora mismo, lo juro por Dios. (Tommy, if you don’t shut the fuck right now, I swear to god.)”

“Qué? Ella tu novia ahora? (What? She your girlfriend now?)” The young Miller questions, raising an eyebrow.

“Sí, lo es. Así que deja de hablar de lo caliente que es mi novia. (Yeah, she is. So stop talking about how hot my girlfriend is.)” Joel states matter-of-factly, shutting the fridge after returning the jug of milk.

“I understood some of that actually,” you say with a proud smile on your face, one of eager mischief on Tommy’s across the room.

Joel whips his head to you, wide eyes, “What did you understand?”

“You called him an asshole. Something about Sarah. The word girlfriend was thrown in there.”

Joel sighs quietly in relief, picking up your prepared mug of coffee.

“Oh, and something about you being old. And that your brother thinks I’m hot. ” Tommy sputters on his drink as he starts to laugh loudly, a deep blush warming Joel’s cheeks. You walk over to him and take the mug out of his hand, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. Cause you’re not old and Tommy just wishes he wasn’t single at thirty years old.”

Joel laughs and Tommy waves your comment off, rolling his eyes before winking at you, “Oh please, you wish you found me before this old man.”

“Sure, Tommy. You can think that all you want, but I met you both on the same day.” Joel barks out a laugh, a smug grin on his face from you holding your own toward Tommy.

Joel looks at his brother, a smile growing on Tommy’s face, “Well, maybe you needed to get your eyes checked that day, Posey. Cause you’d have to be blind to not pick me over the decrepit ass.”

“Y’know, I’m happy to set you up with one of my friends. She likes the type of cute guys who think they’re funny.”

“I know I’m funny, Posey, so not sure if it’s gonna work out. But yes, I would like to be set up with this friend of yours, please…” You laugh and nod, sipping your coffee before answering.

“I’ll work some magic for ya, Tommy.”

“I like this one, Joel, better keep her around so she can be my wingman.”

“You say ‘this one’ as if there have been others,” Joel rolls his eyes and continues, “And I certainly don’t need your advice on that front Tommy. She’s got me as long as she wants me, but please dear god, you should not be his wingwoman. Don’t subject yourself to that torture, Mari.”

The three of you chat to catch up, Tommy genuinely asking about your time in Boston and telling you how glad he is that you’re back around to make his people happy again. The comment swells your heart before your attention is pulled to Sarah as she asks about having a sleepover with you.

“I would love to throw a sleepover with you, sweet pea. I’ll bring over all the goodies to your house and we can stay in your room and watch movies and paint our nails and do all the fun girly things.”

“Yes! And Daddy and Uncle Tommy aren’t allowed ‘cause no boys.” She points at the two of them, both of them frowning and sighing.

“Can I at least be at home, mija?” Joel jokes, and the three of you laugh as Sarah seriously considers her answer.

“Yeah, that’s fine, but you gotta leave us to do the sleepover things ourselves.”

“Deal, Bug. I can do that.”

“Oh yes! It’s all decided then, we’ll have a sleepover when your week at camp is over.” You clap your hands together and grin, already planning everything you need to do this week to prepare for it.

“Damn, Mari, you brought a lot of stuff for one night with Sarah.” Joel eyes you from head to toe, a duffle on your arm, and shopping bags in your hands. He takes the plastic bags from you, holding the back door open for you before following you over to the island to set down all of your purchases. “You do know it’s only Sarah, right, darlin’? None of her friends are coming. This is a practice run for a sleepover.”

“I know, but I wanted to make the first girly sleepover she has at her house fun. I loved having my friends stay over when I was younger, and I dunno, you’re a boy so you don’t get it.” Rustling around in the bags, you start to pull out snacks and candy, along with fun new nail polishes and nail stickers, new hair clips, some young-girl-friendly makeup, and new pajamas for Sarah and you.

“Sweetheart, this is all really nice, but let me give you some money for it all. This is a ton of stuff.” Joel glances at the counter covered in supplies, and before you can answer he’s walking to the front door to get his wallet from the entryway table.

You call out after him, “I’m not going to take it so don’t bother trying! It wasn’t even that much anyway.”

Popping back around the corner into the kitchen, cash in hand, he shakes his head with a mocking laugh, “You’re funny. Even if it was five dollars, I’m giving you ten. Now please take the cash.”

Joel stops in front of you, hand out with a hundred in his hand. A dry laugh leaves your chest, pushing his hand away as you continue to sort through everything from the shops, “Not happening. This was way less than a hundred dollars too, so definitely not accepting that. Go put it back in your wallet, Miller.”

“You’re so goddam stubborn sometimes.”

“Oh, yeah, and you’re not?”

“Hey, I didn’t say that. I know I’m stubborn, that’s why this argument is happening. And why I am about to do this.” Joel steps behind you, slipping the bill into the back pocket of your shorts. You groan, fishing it out and shoving it back in his hand, pushing at his chest.

Joel rebuttals with another attempt, stepping toward you but you step back, backing around to the other side of the counter as he follows closely. You hold your arms out to keep space between the two of you, not being able to hold back a laugh as you start to pick up the pace in your cyclical chase.

“Joel! I’m not taking your damn money, leave it!”

“Mariposa, please, we both know I am way more stubborn than you and m’not gonna stop unless you take it.”

Shaking your head, you turn around to actually move into a speedwalk-jog kind of walk around the kitchen, serpentining your steps.

“Darlin’, I can still catch you if you walk like that.”

“Well, I’d like to see you try.”

Joel takes that statement as a challenge, suddenly catching up with you and wrapping his arms to your front, slipping the bill in the waistband of your shorts before letting you go, putting his hands up in the air.

Wordlessly, you snatch the money from your bottoms, throw it on the counter, and go back to the pile of purchases on the counter. After all of that, you start to unload the drinks in the fridge and open the pantry to throw the sweets and other snacks on one of the shelves. Joel stands and watches you, eyes going back and forth between following your movements to all of the things lying out, including the money.

A feeling kicks up in your chest, tightening your insides with a wring. Small moments send you back to feelings like these, unsupported by actual occurrences but your brain doesn’t care about what actually happens; it prefers the what-ifs. What if this doesn’t last, what if you’re too young, what if you’re too anxious, too broken, too much and it all comes crumbling from under you before you fully realize it? What if this is one of those moments you look back on as a sign? It’s taut and consuming, begging you to say something about it to release the corkscrew.

“If this is too much or if I’m overstepping a — I don’t know — a parental boundary 'cause she’s not my kid, and I know that, of course, but I wanted to do this for Sarah. M’not the nanny that you have to reimburse anymore, I just thought it would be fun to make it like how my sleepovers used to be as a kid…”

Joel’s brows stitch together with what looks like confusion or concern, rounding the kitchen island and standing next to you. A hand on your hip closest to him presses into the flesh there, turning you toward him as the other hand reaches up to tilt your chin to him. Your eyes avoid his, embarrassment heating your body with licks of flames.

“Can you look at me? Please?” His voice is unwavering but shy, boyish. You answer with a flick of up, meeting his own stare. “Mari, sweetheart, this isn’t about anything like that. I know you aren’t ‘the nanny’ anymore, and if I’m being honest, I don’t think you were ever just ‘the nanny’ to either of us. I was being pigheaded, and I didn’t want you to take on doin’ all of this yourself. It’s jus’ automatic for me to want to cover for Sarah, with any sort of activity. Not that I don’t want you to do all of this. I can’t even begin to explain how much it means to me that you care so much for Sarah. I’m just, I’m being her dad. And not giving you the means to do things for her yourself. M’sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, J. I should have better explained myself from the beginning. I want to be a part of your lives, I want to….I don’t know, I don’t want to take the place of her mom, obviously, but I want to be someone she can do girly things with if we’re gonna be together for a while—”

“Not if, Mari. I don’t plan on letting you go without a serious fight,” Joel’s thumb brushes against your cheek as he holds your gaze, “I am so grateful and so relieved that Sarah has someone like you in her life. ‘Specially right now with everything around her mom leavin’, you’re exactly what she needs. What we both need…I will take the money back. But next time we’re splitting it, and every time after that ‘til it’s time that it’s coming outta a joint account.”

When Sarah arrives home from her playdate, Joel retreats upstairs after ordering pizza for the two of you (and him, because he claimed he was gonna sneak down) to watch something on the small tv in his bedroom. You and Sarah changed into your new pajamas and got all of the snacks moved into the living room, trekking blankets and pillows and stuffed animals from her room and around the house to build a nest on the floor in front of the couch.

Sarah had chosen The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants out of the stack of movies you had rented, popping it in and sitting back with you while you had her pick out a color for her nails. The two of you talked about camp and the past school year, her confessing a crush she has on a boy in her camp group this year. There’s only a few details you get from her as you paint her nails, giggling with her when she gets shy and telling her about your first crush.

Sarah eventually is the one to paint your nails, turning out a bit messy and abstract during the process but nonetheless it was fun. As she’s finishing up a second coat on the last nail of yours, the doorbell rings for the pizza and Joel jogs downstairs a minute later to answer the door. Carrying the boxes over to the kitchen after he paid and tipped, he grins at you and nods to the set up.

“Is that every pillow in our house?”

“Well, no, you still have the ones on your bed cause you were sitting on ‘em,” you reply as you walk into the kitchen behind Sarah, fingers splayed apart, careful not to smudge. The younger Miller does the same, looking up at Joel when she stands next to the pizza box.

“Daddy, can you get the slices for me? I don’t want to mess up my nails that Posey painted for me. Look at them! They’re so pretty!” She raises her arms up to give Joel a look, his hand taking one of hers and inspecting it.

“Gosh, Bug, these are just gorgeous. Mari did a great job,” he grins at you, giving you a wink at the same time an idea pops into yours.

“I could do your nails, J. They could match Sarah’s!” Your suggestion is immediately supported by his daughter, her small stature jumping up and down in front of him.

“Yes, yes! You need to get your nails painted, Daddy!”

“Wasn’t this sleepover ‘no boys allowed’?” he arches a brow before he grabs a piece of pizza, plopping it on a plate for Sarah to take into the other room, “If I can stay for longer than it takes to paint my nails and hang out and eat your snacks, you can absolutely paint my nails.”

Sarah takes her plate from her dad, grinning ear-to-ear as she retreats back to the blanket nest. Joel makes a plate for you, carrying it out with his own and setting them on the coffee table. With a groan, he lowers himself to the ground, leaning his back against the couch and holding out his hands to you.

“Go for it, sweetheart.”

“D’you want the same thing as Sarah or something different?”

“Hmm, what d’you think, mija? Should we match?”

“I think you should give Daddy the color I gave you, Posey. It’s so pretty!” she leans back against you, using you as a backrest while she eats her pizza carefully with her wet nails, engrossed in the movie.

“Alright, guess it’s decided then. We’ll be matching,” you smile at him, taking one hand in yours to pull it closer, relaxing it against your thigh as you open the polish bottle. Concentrating on the tasks at hand, Joel wiggles his fingers when you aren’t in the midst of painting to get your attention, holding up a piece of pizza near your face.

“Eat, darlin’. Gotta fuel your artistic brain,” he winks and smiles sweetly at you, earning a quiet laugh before you lean in and take a bite chewing as you go back to painting. You switch hands after a few more bites, giving him a break to eat his own pizza and you yours while the three of you watch the movie. Once your job is done, you close the bottle tight and set it on the table, getting Sarah’s attention to look at it.

“How’d I do, Sare-Bear? Does your dad look pretty?” Her giggles pull some from all of you, nodding and clapping her hands together.

“Daddy, you need some of my pretty stickers and then Posey needs to take a picture with her camera.” Sarah stands and moves over to the pile of beauty supplies, grabbing the pack of nail stickers you bought and picking out a sheet. She sits next to Joel, stickering around his face as he closes his eyes and lets it all happen.

“Is this what happens all the time at girl sleepovers?” He peeks an eye open at you, getting a wide smile and shrug.

“Guess we’ll have to have some more for you to really find out.” Sarah steps back from her handiwork, and you pick up the Polaroid camera, lining up the shot from the side of Joel where there’s multiple star stickers clustered around his eyes. The shutter snaps when he looks at you, spitting out the image. You hand it to Sarah to watch it develop, showing you both quickly before going to hang it on the fridge along with a few other of your shots. You snap another of him looking at you directly, soft rounded eyes filled with affection.

Once you set the camera down, holding onto that photo for yourself, his hands find your thighs, running over the soft cotton of your PJ pants.

“Thank you for doin’ this for her, she hasn’t been this happy and giggly since before you left last summer.” Joel leans in, giving you a gentle, lingering kiss. “I love you. So, so much, Mari.”

Instead of answering, you give him another kiss before Sarah walks back in, settling between the two of you on the floor nest, cuddling up within your little unit of three to finish out the movie.

A few nights after your slumber party, you sneak over to Joel’s again before bed, using the key to the back door that he had made for you. He’s sitting on the couch, a line of sight to the door and a sleepy smile tugging at his lips when he sees you.

Padding your feet across the floors, you climb onto the couch next to him and curl your legs under you while you lean into his side. His arm wraps you up and his lips press against your forehead with a content sigh.

“Hi, Mari.”

“Hey, J.”

“How was your day, darlin’?” he asks as he turns off the TV, fingers ghosting up and down your bicep.

“Good, it was good. Babysat for the O’Connors today with the little baby. She’s so adorable, just a day full of baby giggles.” You grin and Joel smiles back at you, nodding along, “And then after that I drove to therapy and had that for an hour and then went home and waited to come see you.”

“M’very glad you’re here. Can’t sleep without you anymore,” he kisses your temple, “How was therapy, amor?”

“Today was a little hard. Talked more about maybe looking into medicine cause I feel like it isn’t fully there yet. But I do feel like I am happy. Like in my heart. My brain just can't keep up. Still have a lack of interest in things and not a lot of energy like I used to.”

Joel hums an acknowledgment, looking down at you on his shoulder, “M’here if you need to talk about anything, sweet girl.”

“I know. Thank you,” you give him a chaste kiss, smiling drowsily, “How was your day?”

“Pretty alright. Had to go fill in for someone who called in sick today at a job site so I’m exhausted from all the lifting and using machinery. But the framing is all done which means there’s something that looks like a house standing on the lot,” Joel chuckles softly and glances out the front window, “And then, uh, ran into your mom when I got home. She must’ve been running out for something but she stopped to talk and invited me and Sarah and Tommy to celebrate the Fourth with y’all.”

You sit up, grinning excitedly, “Really? Oh my gosh, that will be so fun. Our first official holiday together. Even though it’s just the Fourth of July. Kind of lame.”

Joel chuckles along with you, nodding his head and avoiding your eyes, “I mean, I told her yes ‘cause I didn’t think you’d mind. But the more I got to thinkin’, I guess, I just—I think I need some more time before we tell your parents about us.”

Your face falls before you can hide it, Joel’s hand immediately reaching to cup your cheek delicately, “M’sorry, sweet girl. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to do it at a family event and maybe it might be best if we can sit them down sometime to talk about it all.”

A slow nod keeps you quiet, in your thoughts, rambling out an agreement as you bring your eyes to Joel’s again, “Yeah, yeah, I understand. I agree. Would be best to wait a little while longer.”

“Thank you, darlin’. M’so glad you agree. We’ll find the right time, eventually,” Joel gives you a tender kiss, lingering against your lips for a few more dopey exchanges. He pulls away, standing up and gathering you up with him, leading you to his bedroom and getting into bed with you, “Night, Mariposa. Love you.”

“Night, J,” you reply meekly, the small sound of your voice easily brushed off as fatigue. Joel keeps you close, spooning you with his front against your chest, falling asleep behind you quickly. You can’t rest, especially after that short and decided conversation.

Why did you agree so easily? And why was he even asking for more time? His daughter knows, his brother knows, your friends know. What’s any different about your family? Is he afraid that if he breaks your heart he’ll have to move? But why would he even think about that possibility when all he’s told you is how much he loves you, how he’ll be yours until you want nothing to do with him anymore?

Every reassurance that he’s given you is flooding your mind, those doubts and fears worming their way into the sweet memories and poisoning them with twisted words.

Every time he’s said he loves you, does he mean it? Or is he only saying it to say it, to placate your anxieties about the future of you two by committing in a way?

Is this push back about telling your family a response to you not being ready to say ‘I love you’ back? Is he getting fed up with waiting for it?

Are you too much too quickly? Weaving yourself too tightly into his life and his daughter’s life? Is he going to start to drift, to put off telling your parents until he can end it?

These thoughts cycle in an endless loop, keeping you up while Joel sleeps soundly beside you. Nausea stirs in your stomach, rapid heart beating from the spiraling of your mind keeping you wide awake until the early hours of the morning.

The only way you can manage to fall asleep is turning in Joel’s arms, cuddling into his chest and breathing in his scent to halt the carousel of negativity in your brain long enough for his even breaths to lull you to sleep.

One last question flashes to you before you’re finally asleep:

What happens when Summer ends?

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sixhours · 1 month ago

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bright spots - chapter 10

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | In progress

Rating: Teen Words: 3k Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Joel & Ellie, Joel Miller, Ellie Williams, Marlene, canon divergence, hospital AU, medical stuff, blood, hurt/comfort, angst, canon-typical violence, vomiting, implied rape/sexual assault, I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

Joel

They’ve been in the hospital for six weeks. There are always more tests, more obscure inked marks on Ellie’s arms, all the way up to the back of her neck. The sight leaves Joel queasy, a map of all the times he let them get to her, take something from her. Death by a thousand cuts.

Now they’re talking about surgery.

“She’s strong enough,” the doctor drones, talking mostly to Marlene. “Labs look good. I’d like to do some exploration, see how the mycelium reacts to specific stimuli. We can’t do that kind of experimentation in the MRI, and we’re reaching the limit of what her blood work can tell us. We’re hoping to look directly at the source of the infection, the bite, take some samples from her arm–”

“Ellie,” Joel grunts.

“Excuse me?”

“You keep sayin’ ‘her’. The kid you’re plannin’ on cuttin’ open has a name.”

The doctor blinks, looks between him and Marlene. “Is this really necessa–”

“Her name is Ellie,” Joel growls.

“Joel,” Marlene says, a warning.

“Right. So, as I was saying, we’ll put Ellie under,” he says, emphasizing her name with a faint sneer. “Then we’ll do the tests, observe. Should be straightforward.”

They go to leave, but Joel grabs Marlene by the arm. “I want to be there.”

“You can’t be,” she says flatly. “It’s a sterile environment. We operate with a skeleton crew as it is so we don’t risk introducing infection.”

“I ain’t lettin’ her go in alo–”

“Joel,” Ellie hisses. “Stop.”

He snorts an angry breath, looking back and forth between them, but he lets go of Marlene. He wants to wipe the smug look off her face with his fists.

When they’re gone, Ellie glares at him. “Great job not making that weird.”

He’s not angry with her, but his words come out in a growl.

“This is more than a goddamn blood draw.”

“I know what surgery is,” she snaps. “I’m not a fucking idiot.”

“Never said that,” he says. “I just-I don’t want you goin’ into this thinkin’ you have to go along with everything, alright? You can say no. Any time, no matter what.”

She closes her eyes and nods tightly, face stony, waiting for him to continue. Her shoulders tense like she’s preparing for a fight. Everything in him wants to grab her and run, but his stubborn care is only matched by her resolve. The same resolve that kept him by her side also keeps her firmly entrenched on this path, and it seems the further they go, the harder it is to turn back.

He sighs. One more little cut.

“But…I’m with you,” he says lowly. “Whatever…whatever you decide.”

Her eyes snap open. “What? Really?”

He nods.

“You’re not gonna like…tell me to stop or–or–get all pissed off?”

He frowns at the floor. “May not always agree with you…but I’ll always have your back.”

A tiny, punched-out oh escapes her throat. She ducks her head, makes a show of picking at the hem of her shirt, slowly unraveling a thread.

“It’s just my stupid arm, anyway,” she says, clearing her throat, looking down at the scarred tissue. “It’s not like it can get much worse.”

He bites his lip, chews it, doesn’t say what he’s thinking.

It can always get worse.

~*~

They do the surgery the next day.

Joel spends the whole time she’s in the operating room pacing the fourth floor. The guards eye him warily, and it occurs to him that there’s a reason they keep the wing on lockdown even when Ellie isn’t around. They don’t trust him any more than he trusts them.

The thought gives him a strange kind of comfort.

They bring her back within the hour, asleep, with a fresh bandage covering a wide swath of her right arm.

“She’ll be out for a little while,” the nurse says. “We’ll check in soon.”

He takes the seat next to her bed, leans forward on his knees to wait. Sure enough, she wakes up within minutes, groggy and sore but otherwise okay.

Until the nausea hits.

Something about the anesthesia doesn’t agree with her. The nurse tells them this is normal, it will pass, but all Joel sees is a miserable kid, underfed and small for her age as it is.

Stale crackers and water refuse to stay down for the rest of the day. Ellie doesn’t complain, just curls miserably over a plastic bin with her eyes squeezed shut in between bouts of gagging. When her ponytail falls out, Joel reaches over to hold back her hair, but she glares at him and snaps.

“I can do it. I’m not a fucking baby.”

It’s not the first time she’s refused his help–they spent plenty of time at odds while they were hunkered down for the winter and nursing their respective wounds–but it still makes him roll his eyes. He remembers a certain toddler’s rallying cries of I do it myself , remembers early morning standoffs as his four-year-old insisted on tying her own shoes, guaranteed to be late for work again–

He sucks in a breath. He can’t stop thinking of Sarah lately, like being with Ellie unearthed some vast archive of memories inside him and they’re spilling out left, right, and center.

“I know you’re not,” he murmurs. “But it don’t hurt to have someone to take care of you once in a while.”

She frowns at that, wrinkles her nose…then lets out a soft whine before coughing into the bin again.

He wonders what happened when she was sick at FEDRA school, then scoffs at his own ignorance. There would have been no one. No one to wipe her forehead or hold her hair or rub her back. They would have made the kids work through it like good little soldiers. God knows he didn’t get sick days for missed shifts in the QZ. No work meant no ration cards meant you didn’t eat that week. Why would FEDRA school be any different?

“Hey,” he tries when she brushes him off again to spit up into the bin in her lap, wiping the bile from her lips with the back of her hand. “You don’t have to do this alone. Even the strongest folks need a little help sometimes. An’ even if you don’t need it, it’s okay to have it. Don’t make you weak.”

When her hair falls out of its tie yet again–the scrunchie is more dust than elastic at this point–she yanks it free to re-tie it when Joel stills her with an outstretched hand.

“Here.”

She scowls, but she hands over the scrap of cloth.

“C’mere,” he says, gently turning her with hands on her shoulders until she’s sitting back to him. Muscle memory guides his fingers; combing through her hair, separating it, weaving the errant strands into a rough braid. Not his best work–Sarah would have made him re-do it–but it’s better than nothing.

“Ain’t pretty, but it’ll hold,” he murmurs when he’s done, tying off the end with the scrunchie and giving it a gentle tug. “Better?”

She pats cautiously at the braid, turns her head to look at him with raised eyebrows.

“Don’t look so surprised,” he says, getting up before she can ask. He goes to the bathroom, wincing when he hears her gag again. Grabbing a cloth, he wets it with cold water from the tap then returns to her side, draping it across the back of her neck.

“Helps with the dry heaves,” he explains, then gestures to her cup. “And keep at the water. Better to have somethin’ in your stomach.”

Her words come from a raw throat. “It won’t fucking stay there.”

“It will,” he says, settling into the chair again. “Eventually.”

She takes the tiniest sip of water before Joel suggests she try lying down. She can’t lay on her right side because of her bandaged arm, so she turns on her left, keeping the basin on the mattress between them. He leans over, carefully runs a hand up and down her spine, tentative, half expecting her to push him away again.

“This okay?”

“Mmm,” she closes her eyes, leaning into his touch. Her breathing evens out, the occasional pinch of her brow as she swallows, fighting the nausea.

“Where’d you learn to do all this stuff?” she mumbles after a while.

“Dunno. Had someone do it for me at one point or another, I guess.”

“Your mom?”

“Yeah, reckon so.”

In truth, he can’t remember much about his mother, but he remembers getting a six-year-old Tommy through the chicken pox, remembers a few long nights with Sarah and that one terrifying trip to the ER for nebulizer treatments when the bronchitis wouldn’t let up. He can’t remember a time when he wasn’t taking care of someone. It comes as naturally to him as breathing.

What he wasn’t prepared for was how Ellie turns it back on him. She’s a rough touch with all her griping and cussing, but he didn’t miss how closely she watched him in the days after they escaped from Silver Lake, how she rolls her eyes and tells him to go to bed before he falls over from exhaustion. For a kid who probably never had someone to care for her beyond the bare minimum, she tries.

Ellie cracks an eye, cheek still smushed into the pillow. “She braid your hair too?”

His lips tug upwards in a grin. “Yup.”

That earns him a snort of laughter. He traces the knobs of her spine until she’s breathing slow and steady, until his shoulder aches from the repetitive motion. When he starts to pull away, she scrunches her brow and whimpers a soft request for more.

“Sure, baby,” he whispers, sore arm be damned. “Whatever you want.”

Ellie

The surgery isn’t so bad, but she really fucking hates puking her guts out, and the stupid nausea lingers long after her incision has healed.

It was easy to eat at first; everything tastes good when you’re starving. But the food here is like FEDRA’s–tightly rationed, bland, often mush.

And then there’s the whole meat thing. Even when they had no other options, Ellie couldn’t keep venison down. At some point, Joel stopped bothering to look for deer because it went to waste. Rabbit was okay sometimes, if she could watch Joel dress it and cook it and it still looked like a rabbit when it was done. Anything stewed was off-limits. Just the sight of a thick broth was often enough to turn her stomach.

It makes her wish for that one meal they shared in Jackson, of a plate loaded with mashed potatoes and green beans and bread with fresh butter and apple pie.

Apple fucking pie.

Although she’s not sure she could even keep that down at this point.

She distracts herself with drawing and reading, tamps down on the urge to puke, and tries not to let Joel see how bad it is. At mealtimes, she takes tiny bites, pushing her food around on her tray to spread it out, make it look like she’s eaten more than she has. The nurses don’t bug her about it, and if Joel notices, he hasn’t said anything.

She thinks she might feel better if she knew there was an end to look forward to. It’s been over a month since they got to the hospital and she’s no closer to knowing how they’ll use her immunity to make a cure. She’s given up trying to get information from the nurses–they just ignore her or, worse, pat her on the head and praise her like a dog. The doctor is nowhere to be found and the lab techs are kind but cagy. Marlene is more forthcoming when she’s around, but it depends on how distracted she is. Ellie catches her on a good day as they’re finishing up another round of biopsies, walking back from the lab.

“So…when do you think you’ll be able to make a vaccine?”

“I can't say.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Joel asks, and Ellie resists the urge to roll her eyes, silently begs him not to turn this into a fight.

Marlene glances at him, then returns her focus to her. “Can’t. We’re still in the…experimental phase.”

“Sounds like something people say when they don’t know what they’re doing,” Ellie says flatly.

Marlene presses her lips together. At times like this, Ellie gets the impression Marlene doesn’t even like her very much. That she’d be happier if Ellie just shut up and sat still and let them poke and prod her like one of the lab mice.

Well, too fucking bad.

“We have a lot of smart people working on it, Ellie,” she sighs. “It’s going to happen, but these things take time.”

“Okay, but like…you must know something , right?” she presses. “Or we wouldn’t fucking be here.”

Marlene sighs.

“S’a fair question,” Joel prompts, and this time, Ellie is grateful for his asshole voice.

“Fine,” she says curtly. “It’s likely you’ve had immunity since birth. We think your body produces a kind of chemical messenger that tricks cordyceps into thinking you’re already infected, so the infected ignore you. What we’re working on is finding a means of reproducing that chemical messenger so we can stabilize it and distribute it as a vaccine.”

“If you know what you’re looking for, why do you need all the other tests?”

Marlene frowns. “A vaccine is one thing, but…we have a unique opportunity to study the fungus in a controlled way. If we know how the fungus works, we can hopefully find its weaknesses, maybe even find ways to kill it, or subdue it. One of the ways we do that is by studying your white blood cells and their response to the infection. Pinpointing the difference between your cells’ reaction to the fungus and normal cells.”

Ellie’s brow furrows at that. Normal cells . Does that mean…

“So, what, you like…infect people on purpose?”

“No,” Marlene scoffs. “Jesus, no. We use tissue samples from willing participants. It’s all done at a cellular level in test tubes in the labs downstairs. No one is hurt.”

“But…how can you know that? Don’t you have to test the vaccine?”

“There will be a testing phase, yes. We’ll start with lab animals and move onto human trials eventually.”

Human trials. The sound is ominous, the mental image even more so. The only kind of trials she knows are the ones that end with people hanging in the public square. She imagines cages, holding cells like they use for the mice, but human-sized. The thought makes her stomach churn.

“Won’t you…have to infect someone…to know if the vaccine works?”

Marlene sucks in a breath, considering her. “Sometimes we have to take risks. But there’s a difference between unnecessary risk–like the kind you take when you, say, sneak out of your dorm room–and a calculated risk.”

Ellie wrinkles her nose. The dorm room shot was a low blow.

“Hey, we’re not there yet,” Marlene says, putting a hand on her shoulder, forcing a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “A lot of things need to happen between now and then. Try not to worry about it, okay? You’re doing everything you need to be doing.”

Ellie shrugs, wondering how the hell she’s supposed to not worry about it when it feels like the fate of the world is in her fucking hands.

She wishes she hadn’t asked.

That night, she picks at her dinner and pushes it around on her tray, trying not to taste her food, trying not to think about human trials and normal cells and…whatever kind of cells she’s made of.

“You’re quiet,” Joel says, startling her out of her thoughts. He’s got that look on his face like he’s worrying again. “Somethin’ on your mind?”

“Nah.”

She takes a bite of canned peas just to show she’s eating, tasting more aluminum than vegetable, and chews them to an unappetizing paste. The texture sticks to her throat, makes her stomach heave. She barely covers a gag with a sip of water.

She can see him looking at her out of the corner of her eye, but she keeps her gaze on her tray.

“Wanna play a game?”

“Think I’m gonna go to bed,” she says, rolling a sickly yellow-green pea from one end of the plate to the other with her fork. Even the color is nauseating.

“You sure? ‘Cause it’s been a few days since you kicked my butt. My ego could stand to be knocked down a peg or two,” he says. “Startin’ to think I could actually win one.”

She forces a smile. “Tomorrow? I’m just…really tired.”

That’s the wrong thing to say. He’s making that face again. Fuck.

“I’m fine,” she adds, trying to keep her voice light. “Practice your words. I'm not going easy on you just ‘cause you’re basically, like, senile.”

“I’ll show you senile, twerp,” he smirks, and she breathes a silent sigh of relief, like she’s passed some kind of test. “Get some sleep, kiddo.”

She pushes her tray back and rolls onto her side in bed, facing away, forcing her eyes shut. Her mind races, her stomach cramps. She’s still pretending to sleep when he shuts off the light and the curtain rattles closed on its track.

Then a blanket is tucked around her shoulders and a warm palm graces the back of her head. It’s there and gone too soon. She wants to ask him to stay, to rub her back like he did when she was sick, but the words, like her dinner, get stuck in her throat. Instead, she lies awake in the semi-dark and listens to his Joel-sounds–the crinkle of a page turning, the creaking of his cot–wondering how it’s possible to feel so alone when he’s sitting not ten feet away.

#the last of us #the tipsy bison #the last of us fanfiction #ellie and joel fanfic #joel miller fanfic

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tojisparasite · 2 months ago

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TW- feet, God, power imbalance, kidnapping, dub-con, master/slave dynamic

A/N- Hiii (´∀｀) !! just wanted to quickly tag @naoyasgf for the foot idea AND giving me her thoughts on this imagine. i hope whoever reads this enjoys it as well <3 Thank you! there is one typo here that i missed and can’t seem to find so sorry abt that! ^^

𓆩My god, my tourniquet𓆪

a world where your f/o is a god(dess) amongst men and has been for well over a thousand years…

the people adore them, their preachers are considered enlightened and stand within their good graces! but your f/o seems almost bored of all the devotion and never-ending attention. some prayers are being answered depending on how merciful they want to be that day or they even cause disaster to happen within your mortal world. they did what they wanted and they indulged in that every second of each day.

all this peace and destruction they bring into the world and they still feel a sort of emptiness, someone as highly thought about and well-loved should never feel empty or dissatisfied! it irks them greatly because no matter how many souls they reap out of their own pure selfishness or how many miracles they cause nothing feels fulfilling.

they decide to go into the human world to go searching for what this could be the cause of, perhaps there were people fighting against their word?

as they walk the streets everything seems to be in order, there are more worshippers than non-believers… thankfully.

then you bump into them, you must have been running late or running from someone or something! either way, you didn’t even notice the figure in front of you—how careless of you to not feel the essence of your own god(dess) up close.

when they took a look at the person who so rudely ran into them they felt something they have never felt since their creation… they don’t know what it is yet it disgusts them, or so they think.

“I’m sorry!” you shout as you returned to dashing down the crowded streets in the middle of the day. where you were going, they didn’t know; not yet at least.

they spent the most of their day in the mortal world deep in thought, what was it about you of all humans that made them feel so… odd?

eventually they go back to their kingdom that was light years away from your world, their personal servants ready to serve as always. your f/o dismisses them, they didn’t want lowly servants to serve them any more…

they wanted you to serve them.

it could only make sense! they were so empty because they were in need of a new servant, and you were so cute, absolutely clueless of the situation you got yourself into. it made them desire your presence and your servitude even more.

your f/o wasted no time to appear into your home—finding you was not at all difficult, they simply had to think of your clueless little face and now know everything about you.

“you poor thing, not at all meant for the human world.” they lowered themself to coo into your ear, you were in such a deep sleep. you must’ve been comfortable knowing your god(dess) was coming to rescue you from the mortal world, you were so willing already and that made something in them feel alive—this was as close as they could get to feeling what a mortal felt when they saw the thing or person they adored.

without hesitation they cradled you, keeping you in a protective embrace. before you could open your eyes, there you were. in the holy kingdom, the world you only heard about in scriptures and sermons.

“did i… did i die?” your voice was so soft it was hardly audible had you not been in the arms of your f/o.

your f/o chuckled and shook their head, reassuring you that you are not quite dead—but you won’t be returning ‘home’ anymore. home was with them! aren’t you grateful?

you seemed to have adjusted as well as you possibly could, learning you duties as a servant. but when your f/o was bored they’ll pull you onto their lap, saying it was an order that you had to stay put right their with them.

your new life didn’t seem too bad, you were the beloved companion/servant for your f/o. no one bothered you and you didn’t bother them, you remained at the side of your god(dess).

eventually, all your thoughts turned to pleasing them and only them. some days you fulfilled their wishes, no matter how strange it was—be it kissing almost every crevice of their body, bathing them, feeding them. occasionally they would force you to be doted on by them, they would claim you’re terrible at taking care of yourself.

months pass (at least you’d assume so), and your f/o has a peculiar request for today.

“get on your knees and kiss my feet.”

“what?”

your f/o had a small sneer forming already, irritated by your question. you never dared question them till now. why now? why not when you had to bathe the body of a thousand year old being? you genuinely drew the line at kissing their feet?

“did i stutter? grovel beneath me and kiss my feet.” they spoke firmly while gripping the back of your hair, pushing you downwards till you were on your knees at last. they sat back down in their seat to watch as you stared up at them with glossy eyes and flushed cheeks—you were humiliated and they loved it.

“you look pathetic here stop looking at me.” they rolled their eyes and tapped their shoe against your lips, “go on.”

your hands trembled as you took hold of their ankle, pressing a small kiss to the material.

“you can do better than that,” they scoffed and rolled their eyes, “you don’t kiss the rest of my body like that. are you basically saying you don’t love your god(dess)?” they questioned. they felt almost insulted by your reluctance but managed to keep their cool. see how benevolent they could be towards you?

“no! but—” your voice crackled whilst you tried to explain yourself.

“then properly kiss it.” they pressed the shoe against your lips harder this time, your teeth indenting on the insides of your mouth. they refused to hear any pathetic excuse you tried to muster up.

you swallowed a thick pool of saliva before obliging and kissing their shoe better.

you couldn’t even begin to think about why they wanted this. there was never no reasoning or explanation for their desires, if they want it they got it. no questions asked.

you pressed a more meaningful kiss to the tip of the shoe, then another, then one more for good measure; all while keeping their ankle in your grasp.

they loved how obedient you were, how eager you were to please them. they loved you so much in their own twisted little way.

you took it up a notch slightly and removed their shoe, then their sock. pecking the sole of their foot. warm, wet trails were being left behind from your soft and delicate lips.

“you love this don’t you? worshipping your god(dess). kissing my foot that graces the ground you and i share? this is the closest you’ll get to feeling like my equal, pet.” they let out a soft chuckle. they were amused by your seemingly innocent obedience. no matter how much time has passed to them you’ll always look like their clueless pet.

meanwhile, all you did was press more kisses all around their foot. humming in response as a way to signal that you agreed with them. how could you disagree with someone who could end you without a second thought.

seeing how well you responded to this command, they looked forward to pushing you for the sake of another disgusting desire.

- Cherub 🐾🍡

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quinloki · 8 months ago

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Canon Characters vs OC vs x Reader

Disclaimer: This is just my two cents, and my perspective on things, and I'm not trying to lay down the law for everyone. I needed to just put this to words though, in order to sleep.

I was thinking about this because of a post I saw, and some, we'll say, kind of useless comments associated with the post. Mean-spirited stuff.

Normally, in one ear and out the other, but the vibes just kicked me off down a rabbit hole of sorts an I wanted to try to put some of my thoughts to words.

First, some style vibes:

Canon x Canon Canon/Canon stories are, to me, like reading an episode of that show. I'm sitting down in front of a TV or whatever, and I'm experiencing the story As A Viewer. I like this style because I don't really have to expend much energy and I just kind of roll with whatever's happening. Generally some sort of 3rd person perspective.

OC x canon OC/Canon stories are like being on a carnival ride. I'm sitting in a car on a roller-coaster, and maybe the OC is sitting next me. I'm experiencing the story more deeply than strictly canon stories, but my connection with the OC is no deeper than say, my connection with Katniss Everdeen when I read The Hunger Games. Sometimes 3rd person, sometimes first person.

Reader x canon Reader/Canon (or Reader x/ OC) is like putting on a VR helmet. I don't get much physical input about the "Reader OC" because I'm experiencing the story through their eyes. I don't expect the reader to be me, but there's a bigger feeling of immersion to be had. Some description might happen cause it's relevant to the story, and it's still a type of ride, I can't jump the rails on the roller coaster, after all. (Even with a VN you still follow the tracks). Sometimes first person, sometimes second person (I'm partial to 2nd person perspective, but that's just me).

I love Fan Fiction, I love it. All of it, and man even more than anything, what I love is that I'm going to dislike 80% of it. Because that 80% was written for someone who is not me. (Hell, that number's probably closer to 99% if we're looking at ALL fandoms, but I digress).

Second - The VENT:

What got me the most in the post that prompted this, was someone saying "Bring back the Mary Sue OCs!" and then they went on to describe something more detailed, and I just -

Look, respectfully, fuck you.

The point is, you're not going to be happy no matter what. Whether it's "mary sue" OCs, or x readers, or alternative universes, or a ship you don't like, you're going to find something to be unhappy about.

Cause people have been bitching about all styles of fan fiction since the first "You've Got Mail" chimed in 1991. And until 1998 and ff.net you really had to hunt for it, and until 2007 and Ao3 the idea of tagging a fic for any reason wasn't really a thing. Every click was a surprise! \o/

I just have seen the same song and dance a dozen times. It's exhausting. People become okay with OCs and decide x readers are the enemy, and before that OCs were *all* Mary Sues and cringe and people who made OCs were the enemy, and before OCs people who wrote even a little OOC were the enemy, and people who wrote AUs were the enemy, and you can write fan fic but it HAS to be Canon Compliant, and everyone MUST be in-character at all times - "They would not fucking say that" was the enemy.

Look, just please - please - in any capacity, stop it with the "All X style of story telling is crap" mindset. There's over a dozen different ways to do x readers alone. I know 20 x reader writers and I don't think any of us have the same style, preferences, or vibes.

I've had a lot of comments along the lines of "I thought I hated x readers, but I really loved this." on a few different fics I've written. Sometimes it's not the style of the fic, sometimes it's the style of the writer, and my Brother In Christ - you're going to have to read some awful shit to shuffle through the thousands of writers out there to find the vibes that resonate with you.

Ostracizing entire swathes of fan fic because you need something to be "The Enemy" so you can lift up something else, and then bitching you can't find anything new to read seems like a personal problem.

And I know y'all are scrolling by TONS of posts that don't interest you, every day, as a matter of course. So don't give me that "clogging up the tag" BS, because we deserve to be here same as anyone else in the fandom.

#quin grumbles #I'm so aggravated I don't even really know how to tag this #like almost 30 years of it I'm just so done #I just wonder what amazing stories we're not getting #cause of some fucker using Mary Sue to belittle someone #or someone beating someone else over the head with plot armor because their protag survived something terrible?#How many “Oh.” moments have been missed because someone criticized the very concept of reader insert?#I'm way past my usual bedtime so I'm just rambling at this point #and I am being meaner than I'd like #but JFC #I'm not going to let people's bullshit opinions stop me or anyone else from writing if I can avoid it.#Write what you want #gush about it #talk about it #TELL ME ABOUT IT #IDGAF if it's cringe or overpowered or broken or flawless or an OC or a reader with a name or WHATEVER #If it brings you joy #then do it #and if people are too mean to scroll by it when it's not their thing #and then complain like they're entitled to do so #block 'em.#and tell me who they are so I can block them too #then write more #cause I promise it'll bring someone else joy too

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kakushino · 1 year ago

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Proud

Yandere! Shinazugawa Sanemi x GN! Reader

Creating a human - the second highest pinnacle of Alchemy.

Tags: yandere, implied violence/murder, suggestive, one 'gendered pet-name' used (princess), fantasy AU Word count: 0,3k

Masterlist

It had been a challenge really, more out of spite than true research. Creating a human out of nothing was debated to be impossible.

Until you did it.

Granted, Sanemi wasn't perfect but he was yours and most importantly, he was. He breathed, he ate, he drank, he slept; he was, for all sense of word, alive. A fake human, homunculus.

Sanemi was a curious creature, and learned quickly. Though grasping reading and writing was beyond him at the moment, he spoke like any other man, and fought better than most. That had earned him a nickname - the Mad Dog.

You hadn't listened to them at all.

You really should have.

Sanemi was holding a sword - the one you gave him - covered in blood - of your colleagues - telling you, "They mocked you. They won't anymore… Are you proud of me, Owner?"

You blinked a few times, chasing off tears. Were you proud? No. But how could you tell him no while he was saying it so timidly. He just wanted your approval, didn't he? He had to have heard you rant about them thousands of times while helping you at the lab.

Really, Sanemi just wanted to ease your stress, didn't he?

"O-of course, dear," you choked out, leaning against your work table, suddenly weak.

He wasn't satisfied with that answer, his expression settling into an unreadable one, taking a rag off of the table and wiping his sword clean before he sheathed it and put it on the same table you leaned against. His hands were gentle when he cupped your cheeks. Despite the carnage, he didn't get a speck of blood onto you. "Owner, are you proud of me? ...If you're proud, I deserve a reward, don't I?"

"What k-kind of reward would you want?"

He grinned, eyes a little crazed. "Isn't it always in those children's stories that the brave knight gets the princess?"

The implication made your heart beat faster.

"I want you, dear princess," he whispered, leaning forward and placing a tender kiss onto your lips.

dividers made by the awesome @benkeibear network: @enchantedforest-network

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #shinazugawa sanemi #sanemi x reader #sanemi x y/n #sanemi x you #shinazugawa sanemi x reader #kny x reader #kny fanfic #kny drabble #demon slayer drabble #demon slayer fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #yandere #yandere x reader #tw yandere #tw implied murder

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belltari · 1 year ago

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Happy (early) Halloween!!

I finished editing this today but I couldn't wait until Halloween to post it so here it is, an EXTREMELY self indulgent ghoap sex-in-the-closet Halloween fic.

If you're under 18, you shouldn't be reading it.

warnings & tags: plot with porn (a halloween party, its what the boys deserve), terrible dad jokes, flirty banter, established relationship (I'm imagining that it's still new, like only Price knows and Gaz is putting the pieces together), some dom!ghost tones (nothing too dominant), pleasure dom!Simon (that man just wants Johnny to feel good), public sex (it's a blowjob in a closet), face rutting, cum eating, someone gets called a "good boy" a couple of times

it's about 3 thousand-ish words

This was my first time writing something this explicit, so please keep in mind that I have a lot to learn. The other writers in the cod fandom are excellent teachers and inspire me a great deal.

If you just want to read the porn, start reading after the ' -- '

Anyways, I hope you enjoy and have a great rest of your spooky season!

Approaching the mess hall, Johnny chuckles at the purple and orange 'Happy Halloween!' banner hanging above the doorway, it's very clearly homemade with streaky paint and clumpy glitter making up the words and what looks like an old, tattered tarp as the banner. He wonders if it was a team-building exercise for the recruits, as this whole party was a mixer for them to get to know each other better.

Paper party streamers act as a curtain on the wide doorframe, blocking Johnny's view of the interior of the mess hall, he can feel the bass of the music thumping in his chest and hear cheerful laughter from the other side. Pushing the curtain aside, he steps through to see the short corridor has been decorated. Plastic bats with light-up red eyes hang on strings from the ceiling, jack-o'-lantern string lights flickering along the walls accompanied with signs with sayings like "enter if you dare" and "turn back" written on them. When he gets to the end, he surveys the now-repurposed dining hall, more streamers, banners, and cheap plastic decorations decorate the room. The lights have been turned off and the windows covered, floodlights and spotlights covered with coloured transparent pieces of plastic are the only lights illuminating the room creating a dramatic scene.

Several tables are being used as pumpkin carving stations, one of the recruits is ripping the guts out and complaining about the smell, and another is stabbing their pumpkin with a hunting knife. Gaz is there, dressed as a vampire with a long cape and plastic fangs in his mouth, to supervise. He's laughing with them telling them they need to work on their techniques a bit more when he catches Soap's eye giving him a smile and a quick wave, he returns the gesture and continues scanning the room.

He turns to where the music is coming from, tables cleared from the corner creating a makeshift dancefloor. Recruits dressed as ghouls, goblins, witches, and all sorts of different costumes grind and dance together to the music, drinks in hand, and smiles on their faces. 'No better team bonding than getting absolutely shit-faced together' Soap thinks to himself with a grin across his face. He notices Price standing with a group of other captains and lieutenants, he's got a glass of whiskey in one hand and is using the other to help animate whatever story he's got everyone laughing at. Price is dressed in a tri-corn hat with a tall feather sticking out of the side and a knee-length red coat with gold adornments on the sleeves and lapels. 'Gotta be Captain Morgan' Soap smiles, shaking his head. Price notices him, giving Soap a smile and a quick nod which Soap returns.

Finally, he spots the man he was looking for, his broad back facing away from him. Soap approaches walking up to grab a drink next to Ghost. He has his balaclava rolled up to his nose, a half-eaten cupcake in one hand, and a plate of other confections in the other. "Thought you'd put a little more effort in L.T.." Soap says as twists open the bottle of beer he's picked up and turns to smile at Ghost.

Ghost is wearing his normal skull balaclava and skeletal gloves, but his 'costume' has the addition of a hoodie with the skeletal system of a torso and arms.

"Didn’t put much effort in 'cause my heart just wasn’t in it." Ghost response points to his chest where his heart would be.

Soap snorts. "Bet you've been waiting to say that all night."

"Gotta 'nother one for ya."

"Go on then."

"Why are skeletons so calm?" He pauses. "Because nothing gets under their skin."

"Ugh please no more." Soap says in a playful tone shaking his head.

"What are you supposed to be then?" Ghost asks, pointing to Soap while eating the rest of his cupcake.

"Thought it was obvious? The fluffy tail and ears, the roguishly good looks?" Soap pauses, looking at Ghost with a wolfish grin. "C'mon Ghost, I thought you were good at this?"

Ghost eyes rake over Soap’s form. Starting at his furry-eared headband, then down to his bright red collar around his neck. He pauses there for a second, Soap can see his Adam’s apple bob under his balaclava, before continuing further down to his distressed dress shirt that he’s left open at the top exposing his chest, he’s half tucked in his shirt to his jeans that he often wears on ops, the ones that hug his hips and thighs just right. And between his legs, a dark furry tail hangs ending just above his knees.

"Oh, I see you're one of those yappy little lap dogs."

"Oh aye. I'm very territorial and I never shut up. Watch your ankles L.T., I always go for those." Soap says stepping closer to Ghost. He looks down at the collar he's wearing, lifting his eyes back up, over Johnny's chin, to his smirking lips then setting on his bright blue eyes.

"Hmm" Ghost hums. "And is he a good boy too?" He said as he bites into a ghost-shaped sugar cookie.

"Depends on who's giving the orders, sir." Soap looks up through his lashes at Ghost, taking a swig of his drink.

Ghost looks around to make sure no one is paying any mind to them. When he's sure no one is, he hooks a finger under the collar pulling Soap even closer. He then leans into Soap's ear and whispers "Be a good boy then and go to the utility closet, lock the door, and don't open it until you hear three knocks of a beating heart." He doesn't wait for Johnny to respond before pulling away and walking over to Price, where Gaz has now joined him at the other end of the room.

Soap takes a deep breath, downing the rest of his drink, and grabs another one before joining the rest of 141.

When he approaches, Gaz is in the middle of telling Price about the pumpkin carving recruits and their 'interesting' techniques. But Soap's not listening, he's watching Ghost eat another cookie, licking the crumbs from the corner of his lip, laughing at something Price had said.

Soap's face gets hot, he downs a couple mouthfuls of his beer to try and cool down. "You good, Soap?" Gaz asks smiling at him.

"Aye, but this beer isn't. Has to be the weakest thing I've ever drank."

"It's probably a lot better than at piss tequila you drink." Ghost jokes.

"Think I'll go find ya some then LT. Maybe I can get you to come round to it." Soap winks at Ghost and turns to leave, only to be stopped by another captain holding a camera. "Group shot for the books, boys?" She asks. Soap looks over his shoulder at Price as he answers "Alright, come on then," waving the boys closer.

Price throws his arms over Gaz and Ghost's shoulders, Ghost rolls his balaclava back down over his jaw and Soap takes his place on the end next to him, snaking an arm around his back placing his hand on Ghost's waist.

"Say 'Happy Halloween!" The captain says as she readies to take the picture. Soap throws up the peace sign and the boys say the words the captain wanted when the camera flashes.

She comes over to show them the picture, they all look happy, even Ghost looks like he's smiling under his mask. They deserve a break like this after their last op. They move apart and Soap tells them he is going to find that drink for Ghost and excuses himself.

"Ma'am, could I get a copy of that picture?" Soap taps the captain with the camera on her shoulder on his way out. "Of course, hun! I'll make sure to give Price a few extra copies once I get them printed."

"Cheers!" Soap says raising his bottle in response "Enjoy the rest of your night."

"You too!" She says, giving a short wave to Soap.

'Oh, I will.' Soap thinks as he makes his way out of the mess hall and into the corridor leading to the utility closet Ghost wants him to wait in. He walks as fast as he can without looking suspicious, a tightness growing in his stomach and a heart wanting to break free of his ribs in excited anticipation of what's to come.

Rounding a corner, he meets a group of recruits.

"Leaving the party already Sarg?"

"Don't cha worry I'll be back, I'm only out looking for a little something stronger to drink." Soap responds with a wink as he walks backward down the hall coming to a corner. "You lads better get back there, don't want the captain to catch you out here." He turns the corner, hearing the recruits retreating footsteps as he approaches the utility closet door.

When he's standing in front of the door, he grips the handle, checking both ends of the hallway to make sure he won't be seen entering. Taking a deep breath through his nose, he opens the door and steps inside, reaching to his left to flick on the light and shutting the door behind him locking himself in.

He waits for what feels like ages. He finished the last of his drink a while ago and is now pacing around the small room.

"The things I do for this man." Soap signs. "This is ridiculous, what am I even doing in here?"

He checks his watch, 20 minutes have passed.

He's been waiting in a closet for Ghosts for twenty minutes.

"Oh, I'm so making you pay for this LT." He leans against the wall, readjusting his headband to distract him from the tightness in his pants that has been there for the last 15 minutes.

'Fuck it' he thinks, 'I'm not waiting any longer.' He reaches to palm himself through his jeans, moaning at the feeling of finally being touched. His briefs are wet with precum and creating a slick surface that his cock twitches against earning another sign from him. He reaches into his shirt to grab his nipple when a knock from the door startles him.

Knock-knock

Soap takes two long strides to the door, unlocking it and flinging it open. Ghost pushes his way in, closing and locking the door behind him.

"Jesus Simon, I thought you were going to make me wait here all night," Johnny says moving to stand chest to chest with Simon. He places one hand on Simon's waist and moves his other to take off Simon's mask.

Simon grabs his wrist and moves away. "Thought you were being a good boy? Think you need to learn some patience."

"My patience ran out 15 minutes ago." Johnny groans, freeing his wrist and ripping Simon’s mask off, throwing it somewhere on the floor behind him. His hair is an absolute mess, sticking up in all directions and a smirk is plaster across his face, he's looking down at Johnny hungerly.

Johnny smashes his lips onto Simon's in a desperate sloppy kiss, tongue and saliva pushing into Simon's mouth. A moan escapes Johnny. Simon reaches one of his hands up to the back of Johnny's head, caressing his nape first then gripping the back of his mohawk to deepen the kiss.

Johnny pulls away breathing hard when Simon's other hand touches his cock through his jeans. "Fuuuuck" he moans into Simon's neck, placing several open-mouthed kisses there and bringing his hands to wrap around Simon's broad back grabbing fist fulls of his hoodie.

Johnny ruts against Simon's hand earning a chuckle from Simon, "Desperation looks good on you, Johnny."

"Can think of a couple other things that might look even better."

Simon pulls away from Johnny, placing a hand on his chest pushing him away, "Stay." He says as looks down at him with half-lidded eyes. His gaze wanders down Johnny's face to the collar he wears on his neck, then to his chest that heaves in excitement, shirt half unbuttoned showing off his well-defined pecs that are covered in dark hair. Simon takes his hand and brushes Johnny's shirt where he knows his nipple sits underneath, drawing a shutter out of him. He smiles, looking up to Johnny's eyes that are already staring back at him. Simon looks down to see Johnny has clenched his fists that hang by his sides and sees that he's straining against his jeans, a wet spot has formed where the head of his cock has been twitching, wishing to be free from the confines of his jeans.

"You gonna me show how good you are?" He asks Johnny.

"Simon, please I-"

Simon walks Johnny backward until his back meets the shelf full of cleaning supplies behind them, shaking when they collide with it. Simon goes to plant a kiss on Johnny's mouth when Johnny tries to meet him halfway, "Ah-ah, I said stay" he scolds as he grabs Johnny's jaw with a firm grip. He places a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth, then on the scar on his chin, and then one more on the pulse on his neck, he can feel it racing under his lips.

He suddenly pulls away and crouches down to settle on his knees in front of Johnny. Simon reaches for Johnny's belt unbuckling it, he unbuttons his jeans pulling them and his boxer briefs halfway down his thighs in one fluid motion, letting Johnny's cock spring free in front of his face.

A string of precum hangs from the half-covered head of his cock, creating a string that connects to the inside of his briefs. It twitches and another pearl forms under Simon's gaze. The pearl drops to the floor when Simon's gloved hand connects with his shaft, slowly moving his foreskin back to reveal his glistening, swollen head.

"Ahh, fuck" Johnny sighs, throwing his head back to smack against the self with a bang, knocking over a couple of the bottles.

"Careful, Johnny. Need to stay quiet, don't want anyone finding us do ya?" Simon teases as he starts lazily stroking his cock. He gets a hiss from Johnny, as he slides his gloved hand down his shaft to the base, creating a rough sensation for Johnny.

Simon's hand slides back up to his leaking head, thumb going to Johnny's frenulum drawing agonizingly slow circles on it. Simon looks up at Johnny to see his face contorted in pleasure with the overstimulation he's causing and that his headband has been knocked out of place. He brings his other hand to grip Johnny's balls, pulling them down gently. Johnny's chest heaves in when he releases a heavy breath, his hand shooting out to grip the edge of the shelf he's leaning on, his other hand hovering over Simon's head, hesitating to grip his hair. He looks down to Simon for permission, to which Simon responds by releasing his hand from Johnny's cock and catching it on his tongue.

"Yer gonna kill me." He breathes, getting a open-mouthed grin out of Simon. He wraps his lips around him before sucking on his head, flicking his tongue on the underside.

"Simon." Johnny warns.

Simon sinks his whole cock into his mouth, nose pushing into Johnny's pubic bone, a burning feeling in the back of his throat. He sticks his tongue out to caress his balls while he starts messaging them with his hand. Drool drops into his palm helping ease the rough feeling of his glove for Johnny. He slides Johnny's cock out of his mouth to take a deep breath.

"Think yer enjoying this more than me." Johnny chuckles at Simon looking down at the saliva dripping from his wet lips. Simon only looks up at him in response before pulling his cock back into his mouth, sucking and bobbing up and down his cock with a relentless pace this time. He never breaks eye contact with Johnny as he starts playing with his balls and moving his forefinger to brush against his taint. This makes Johnny buck forward deep into Simon's mouth and grip his own pec, wanting to place pressure on his nipple. Simon pulls Johnny's hand away, ripping his shirt open making a couple of the buttons fly free. He finds Johnny's nipple and pinches. Hard.

"I'm- I’m gunna-!" Johnny pants out. Bucking forward once again, pushing his cock farther down Simon’s throat, making his eyes water.

Simon can feel him twitching and pulsing inside his throat. He pulls his head away quickly just as Johnny starts to come, he tastes it briefly on his tongue before releasing his cock with a pop and feels Johnny's cum land on his face. One release squirts up his cheek stopping on his cheekbone and another across the bridge of his nose just missing his eye. More oozes out as Johnny grips the sides of Simon’s head to rut through his orgasm, rubbing and grinding his cock against Simon's face, his balls slapping against his jaw with a wet sticky sound. Simon closes one of his eyes as Johnny’s cock gets dangerously close to it, even more cum is leaking out of the tip as Johnny overstimulates himself. When he stops, he's breathing hard and hunching over, shaking from his orgasm, his cock jumps against the bridge of Simon’s nose. The cum pooled there drips down his face and over his chin, dripping onto his neck and disappearing under his shirt.

"Good boy." Simon says as he pats Johnny's thigh.

"Lemme be even better than,” he says, as he unsteadily crouches down in front of Simon, “and help clean you up." He sticks his tongue out, licking the cum off Simon’s neck, trailing up to his chin, then up and over his cheek. After he's collected it all in his mouth he kisses Simon, holding eye contact when he pushes it into his mouth with his tongue, smiling when he accepts it. Johnny pulls away, looking very impressed with himself, a string of saliva connects them and Simon swallows what he’s given him. Wiping his mouth with the back of this hand, Simon stands them both up, pulling Johnny's pants up, tucking him back in his briefs, and making his best attempt to fix his shirt.

Johnny places an arm around Simon's neck pulling him into a sweet tender kiss. "Let's get you sorted then." He smiles into Simon's lips, he reaches underneath his hoodie to brush along Simon’s abdomen, running his fingers through his happy trail, flattening his hand to slide into the top of his cargo pants.

Simon pulls away slightly, reaching up to fix Johnny’s fluffy-eared headband. "You know I don't need that."

"I know" he pauses "but I want too," Johnny whispers into his cheek. "I'll come to your room later. This time you'll have to wait for me." He smirks looking up at him.

"I'll be waiting." Simon kisses Johnny one last time, then steps out of his reach, picking up his discarded mask from the floor and slipping it over his head back into place. He grabs Soap's long-forgotten empty bottle and says, "Wait five minutes before leaving, yeah?"

"I know, Ghost. This isn't my first time." He smiles.

"And remember that piss tequila you were supposed to be findin'."

"You won't be callin' it that by the end of the night."

"Mmm, I doubt that." Ghost opens the door quietly to listen for anyone outside, when he hears nothing, he looks back at Soap over his shoulder and nods a 'see you' then steps out closing the door behind him.

Soap takes in a deep breath. 'Think I gotta start wearing a collar more often.' He thinks. 'Maybe I should start wearing the throat mic again?'

#ghost has a sweet tooth and i wont hear otherwise #price and gaz are here but they play a small part so imma not tag em #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghoap #cod mw2 #call of duty #cod #bell writes

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